A
male
age
30-35,
*47
writes:Here's the situation: I’m 16 overwight and painfully shy, especially of girls. I want to lose weight, shyness and get a girlfriend. This summer I plan to do intense exercise, eat more healthily and go to the mall and start talking to random girls. I’ll probably be rejected a few dozen times before I get anywhere, but I am aware that this will desensitize me to rejection and shyness near girls, which is what I want. However, I have a problem with following plans. Unless I’m very enthusiastic or simply not lazy, I won't even start. Further more, my enthusiasm dies quickly like the time I decided to learn Japanese or play the guitar, didn’t go well. How do I follow through? Any motivational, phycological exercises I can try? Is this a good plan? What did I plan well and what could I improve on? Many thanks in advance. (By the way, I never even held hands with a girl, nor am I good with small talk.)
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male
reader, 147 +, writes (10 May 2008):
147 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for all the help and support!These are some really helpful answers.In fact I think I'm enthusiastic enough to start now.You guys just made my day,thank you! And to those that haven't posted answers but have been reading this,go ahead and post.All help is appreciated.Thank you!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2008): hi there, good for you for tackling things on your own like that, i used to be a bit chubby and then i lost weight and got fit over the summer and it felt great, i suddenly became hot and it was a lot of fun. im like you, im quite lazy and i only got fit for a boy. and now ive become lazy and im flabby again and i feel like shit. im starting to work out again, but this time i'm doing it for myself. so thats my advice to you. think of it as a lifestyle change. eating more healthy, and being more active. if you do some sort of group sport, its a great way to meet people, and active people are usually friendlier and happier (endorphines right!)
you're 16-17, male, if you work hard, you should get that weight off quickly. thats the brilliance of being a teenage male. i wish i had that kind of metabolism. im 24 now and its a lot harder for me to lose weight now then i did 5 years ago. so that to me was kind of disheartening, because before i would have to go to the gym once or twice and i saw results but now it takes like 2 weeks. so maybe take lots of pictuers to document your weightloss. and when you start seeing a difference, that should totally motivate you. that motivated me. i was like. wow! i am getting hotter everyday! so hahaha. keep at it! and good luck!
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (10 May 2008):
 It is a great plan! However I don't know that I would advise asking random girls out at the mall. Being rejected actually hurts a lot and doesn't really get easier, it would just keep bringing you down. Get to know a girl a bit first before just approaching any girl you see. A lot of girls would think you just ask every attractive girl you see out and wouldn't be interested if you know what I mean. Girls want to feel special. Not like they are just one of the many you asked out at random. I would advise getting a job where other people in your age group work. Working with people everyday you really get to know them. Ways to stick to your plan of losing weight... Go out and buy or get your parents to buy healthy food that you still find appetizing. Set aside a certain amount of time to exercise. If you have a dog, walk him/her around the block or at the park everday. If you have younger siblings or cousins, play sports like baseball or soccer. Don't push yourself all at once. Doing this will cause you to get fed up, binge, and feel horrible, maybe even giving up all together. You can still have things you enjoy eating such as cake or candy- but limit them! You can find all sorts of diet plans online and see which suits you. But remember to exercise, just dieting won't cut it. Even just power walking everyday is great for you. Setting a goal weight can also help to motivate you. It will work just don't give up, you can do it. Maybe a friend or family member who also wants to get healthy can join you? It works wonders to have support. Good luck !!
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A
female
reader, sassymouse  +, writes (10 May 2008):
 I think its admirable that you want to lose weight, not simply because of the weight itself but because it will make you happier. My advice is to concentrate on one thing at once, so if you were to start with the weight, eat healthier, start with a little exercise. Dont starve yourself or do too much too soon, because youll get tired and probably stop! Your motivation will be that you'll feel better about yourself and start being more positive...who knows if you'll get rejected at all! Dont assume you automatically will do! And anyone who rejects you simply on the grounds of your weight simply isnt worth having! Maybe when you feel more positive your confidence will gain, but just try and act naturally around girls. Dont expect too much, just try and be friends and if you get on, things might happen! Remember think positive and follow your heart. You only live once so dont get too hung up on being overweight! Good luck!
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