A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex boyfriend recently came back to me. Our break up was mutual - it was not like he cheated on me or something like that, we were just sick of arguing a lot. Well, before we got back together, there was some "competition" - one of his exes wanted to get him back, and she even used sex in her attempts. She is younger than me, rich (bombarding him with presents all the time), cheerful, sweet and so on. However, even though her attemtps, he said he never thought of getting back together with her, and it is me who he wants to be with. I asked him why but he said he cannot come up with a clear reason. When I think about it, even I do not see why he wants to be with me. Well, I think I am pretty, but I am pretty older than he is, and I am not rich or sweet or cheerful and so on. And I keep asking why he is with me and sometimes ask him why but all his answer is because he wants and loves me. Do guys fall for a girl when there is another girl who is, according to "objective standards" more desirable? Am I being really insecure?
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cheated on me, got back together, his ex, insecure Reply to this Question
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female
reader, sugar_sugar +, writes (15 June 2009):
 This other girl doesn't sound so sweet. She sounds two faced and lacking morals - really, what kind of "sweet" girl makes a play for another girls boyfriend so blatantly. Desperate comes to mind too.Objective standards don't mean much when it comes to love. Sure, maybe this girl ticks a few boxes on paper, but in reality that's not what make people appealing or even compatible with one another.I don't see that you being older than him is a drawback, at the age of 22 - 25 it's not like you'll physically look old, in fact you'll have the benefit of maturity and experience that she doesn't possess.
A
female
reader, athenas +, writes (15 June 2009):
Hey there! That happens i think to all of us. Like you said your pretty but ther is this other chick that wants to be with your man who has alot of qualities, but get this straight the man is in love with you!!! i mean dont torture yourself like that, feel more secure about yourself and about your relationship beacause he has proven to want you and that wants to be with you and no matter if that girl comes back again hes still going to be with you bacause hes telling you he loves you. Girl you should be happy. Remember you dont need money for love, because you cant buy love.
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