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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: For men (and women who can relate): When I am intimate with my boyfriend, he tends to grab onto my "cushions" - I'm a bit of a voluptuous girl (130lb, 5'5) and I guess it makes me uncomfortable that he is grabbing onto my thighs or tummy because it brings my attention to the areas on my body that need toning. He has never said anything and he says he enjoys the softness and, again, "cushion" but it makes me feel uncomfortable. i just wanted some opinions, is it normal to feel this way?? Should I just relax? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2011): 5'5" is not voluptuous.Sounds like you must be rather well toned and have the nice array of soft cushions that us guys like, in the right places for guys to hold onto.Trust me when I say that guys who are well adjusted and loving would MUCH rather have you, on their arm in public as well as in the sack, than some girl from the magazine who you apparently think you should be.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (17 November 2011):
 5'5" and 130 is far from fat or zaftig or voluptuous... you are just fine.
men do not want skin and bones.. I was 135 this summer at 5'2" and my bones stuck out everywhere... my boyfriend complained i was TOO THIN...
he grabs your bits because he LIKES them...
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A
female
reader, KandiSav31 +, writes (17 November 2011):
Yes, its normal to feel that way, im 5'5 and 150 lbs, im not neccessarily overweight and i still look good in general, but even then sometimes i get embarrassed when a guy pays attention to my "less attrative" parts, but i feel that its all about being self confindent in yourself, its obviously something he really loves about you so dont sweat it, also if he does say something negative, hes not worth it because he should love u just the way u are, small and curvy or fat and floppy(to a reasonable extent) just be comfortable with who you are.
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (17 November 2011):
 Relax and change your thinking. You don't like your body, but he does.. and when it comes to women's bodies, men are smarter than us. He likes you fine, you are soft and womanly, no wonder he wants to touch. We women always want to hate ourselves, and we can't bear anyone to like the way we look. That is screwy thinking. I'm telling you, and he has told you, that you look fantastic. Ignore the women on TV, in the movies and in the magazine. They are at work, they spend millions to look like that, and then computers are used to removed any flaws. The women in the media aren't real, you don't see them in the morning, you don't see how many of them have anorexia or have to exercise night and day to stay so skinny. The camera puts on 5 Lb's, so you the probably look skeletal in real life. Look around you in the street to see how real women look. Now don't worry that your boyfriend likes your "cushions", somebody has to, because you don't.
I always say.. never heard a man ask if his bum is too big.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2011):
If it makes you feel better, that means he find you sexy. My girlfriend was a size 2 when I met her. She is now an 8 or even 10. I know that she is upset she has a bust and a butt, but I love it. We went shopping for lingerie and when I met her she was a 32c. She is now a 36d. That distresses her, but I love it. Just relax. He loves *you*. I realize it makes you feel uncomfortable, but your man loves you for who you are. If my girlfriend goes from 36d down to 32b that's okay, too, but all else being equal I rather like the cushion.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 November 2011):
 OP, but...when you are intimate, where do you want him to grab ? Your toes? Your ears ? Your ( perhaps pointy ) elbows ? Ouch:)
He does not seem to have any problem with your " cushions ", YOU are. So rather than intervene on him, intervene on yourself, if you feel you have to. Hit that gym, cut those carbs etc... and in the meantime, yes, relax and enjoy, he LOVES your body ,both the soft spots and the hard ones.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2011): Some guys like "cushion", my ex said that he liked the fact that I had a bit of a belly, even though I didn't like it. I guess it feels better than being bony?
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (17 November 2011):
 For someone who is 5'5" 130 lbs is far from voluptuous (which I assume is a euphemism for 'overweight'). You're well within normal range.
Instead of drawing more attention to those areas you're already sensitive about, you could tell your boyfriend what areas you prefer him to touch instead.
It might help you to take notice of others when you're out. Be subtle of course, but if you look objectively you'll gain a new perspective and see yourself differently, more fairly. You don't have to be runway model/bone thin to be attractive. Give yourself more credit.
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