A
male
age
36-40,
*suckatdating
writes:So, went on a second date tonight with a girl.It started off well, went to "trivia night" at a bar, she was responsive, pretty indicative that we both are still into each other from the first date...However, as the night went on, it felt like I was just talking to a girl that happened to be a friend - nothing more, I don't know where to take this thing now as I want to hold her hand an such, but can't seem to get myself to do something like that because I don't know how it will be received. I don't want to give her that vibe that I'm not confident, but the thing is that I am! Sometimes it's just hard for me to fake it because I really don't know what the F I'm doing with her. I want to lean in and get physical with this girl and it could be pretty great but we've still not kissed, or gotten any physical response other than a hug. Wtf. Any advice?? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Isuckatdating +, writes (29 October 2010):
Isuckatdating is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, the first date we had was actually a dinner at a bar / restaurant. I think we both want a place where we can hang out and catch up. Might do that again I guess, but I just want to keep the venue fresh on things to do.I don't know how she's feeling at this point but I just get the vibe that she's expecting more. Just dunno. I mean we have great conversation and joke around and I feel like I could talk to this girl for hours but I don't know if that's just because we're both pretty easy people to get along with and she's just stringing me along.Also, texted her yesterday morning with a joke about the "bar trivia" thing we went to the other night but haven't heard a response :\ don't know what's up with that. I might just lay low for the weekend and get in touch with her early next week with a simple "how did your Halloween turn out" text to hopefully get a response.
A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (29 October 2010):
 I think part of the problem here is that you're putting too much into this too soon. Try not to worry about messing things because it'll only make you tense and nervous around her. Also, if by 'somewhere private' you mean your place, that wouldn't be a good idea. It'll make her think you're only after one thing. Why not go somewhere for dinner? It's more intimate and quiet than a bar, but still a public place where she'll feel comfortable.
...............................
A
male
reader, mrvhappy  +, writes (28 October 2010):
You can go for a walk, yes it gets cold but thats a good reason to snuggle up to you ;)... or why not try taking her out to dinner that way you can get to know her as a person.Maybe take her out to a chick flick after the meal I fine that this works wonders ;)
You should be able to gauge how much she likes you then.
...............................
A
male
reader, Isuckatdating +, writes (28 October 2010):
Isuckatdating is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses, you're probably right that I shouldn't push things, but it's hard to gauge a reaction from her. It took a couple weeks for us to arrange for a second date as we both are pretty busy and I don't want to "blow it" because I don't see this girl as often as I would like.
Would you guys recommend that the next date be somewhere private or is it probably still to soon for something like that? The past two dates have pretty much just been at bars.
I want to just go for a walk or something but it's so damn cold out now so I have to think of things to do where we can just hang out in an open location.
...............................
A
female
reader, shnookims  +, writes (28 October 2010):
 I agree with xanthic... Give it time and take a chance. Maybe shes feeling exactly what you are.
...............................
A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (28 October 2010):
You've only had two dates. There's nothing to be concerned about at this stage, unless she's completely cold and doesn't seem interested in you. She may be shy, or just isn't the type to be more physical until you've been on a few dates, not two.
In this case, it's up to you to test the water and see how she reacts. If you go out again, hold her hand at some point and don't make a big deal of it. If she's all right with it and takes it in stride, she's definitely interested in you as more than a friend. The most important thing is to avoid coming across as pushy. If you seem like you're in a rush to move forward she'll only become more distant.
...............................
A
male
reader, mrvhappy +, writes (28 October 2010):
Try not to rush into this. Some women dont like to be touched too early into a relationship or they feel that the guy is only after 1 thing.
Let her feel comfortable with you and see where it goes (if anywhere)
...............................
|
