A
male
age
41-50,
*schitzo n not
writes:do you think because shes cheated and dumped me numerous times for other guys n a girl in the past that she could be hiding it and doing it still weve talked about the past and i still am hurt from the facts of the past, hell i might have a complex or somthing from it all, i dont want to believe she is now but i typed in on yahoo search signs shes cheating and shes hittin on all the signs what to do or how should i think , ive never had a father figure or a sober mom and i only have yall
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reader, pschitzo n not +, writes (29 January 2013):
pschitzo n not is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni thank all of you for giving some advice or tools i say , well i asked her directly, who have you slept with that i dont know about? no one,i reminded her of a time of when we split up for a month, bout 6 months before we got married, but remember weve been together for 8 years by this time, i dont remember the words i chose but nice n softly just a regular conversation after disagreeing wen im paranoid bout her cheatin, n some how she said, who me n (c), i told you we did somthing no you said he came over once as friends n once more drunk at 2 am, first time we talked bout this situation, he slept on the livinroom floor, second time you said you told him he is drunk n needed to go cause he was talkin bout the past theyed had while i was locked up couldnt locate her wen i got out, i heard her family moved round the corner, so i sent a lil boy bout 9 to the house he told her to meet me by the school we did then talked n shed been with him n a few months later tells me their problems n there done i figured since thats what she did wen i was locked up before wen she lost her virginity not to me, after 2 yrs n very in lov puppy love,any way she told on herself by saying i told you bout that one time,then i took a few to think ,n told her what i think had takin place n she said ya kinda n went into detail as we go deaper into the conversation,now my minds realy goin 90 to nothin, i know better than to mention all the other times ive felt shes cheated so i pry a lill n no budge no more cheatin.i said well i wouldnt say you cheated on me with him, as we were seperated.i remember wen i first felt that somthin is wrong in her voice n speech like shes hiddin somthin n well they had sex that night after our check in call we regulerly made with each other yes while apart . ill continue on out of room on phone page
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (27 January 2013):
Okay.
Are you going to leave her?
a)yes
b)no
If yes, then do it and be done with her. Share joint custody and live in a cheap place. You may be lonely but you won't be heartbroken. And the loneliness will go away.
If no, then you have two options:
1.) Keep things the same
2.) Have an open relationship.
If you keep things the same you'll continue to be cheated on because she knows she will get away with whatever she wants and you'll just take it. To make the best of this situation (your unwillingness to leave) then you HAVE to stop pretending that she's going to be faithful. You need an open relationship so at least you're free to find companionship as well. That way you're no longer a "doormat" as everyone pointed out.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013): If you are suspecting it that strongly, and have been walked on by her before then she isn't worth your time. Even if she isn't cheating on you, if you can't trust her anymore then you have a broken relationship. I have a feeling that she tries to make it feel like you would have a tough time getting someone else, and that she "just screwed up". My advice dump her, put on some nice clothes, a small splash of cologne, and try to make some small talk with some girls at a local singles night. I have a feeling there will be some other girls that would find you attractive, and knowing that could give you the confidence you need to keep you from letting her crawl, and I do mean crawl, back into your life. Just cut her off.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (27 January 2013):
It appears that you've already decided it's something you're willing to live with. If not leave her as you should have a long time ago.
The problem you have here is that she doesn't appreciate monogamy and she's too immature and uncaring to accept it and have that fact be part of her life and to find a partner who's like minded.
But, she's already figured out that she can do whatever she wants and you'll still stay with her so she has no reason to do the right thing (have an open relationship). Not to mention she will have to contend with her jealousy.
If you still don't want to break up with her you need to tell her that you want to have an open relationship.
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A
male
reader, pschitzo n not +, writes (27 January 2013):
pschitzo n not is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you, id also like to get some comments from women who have cheated i should and want to leave but three kids i love them i think more than her cause their lives are caught up here i cant take them on my own ive been tryin to do all the momy stuff but the doctor stuff and school it just seems hard and im on disability and dont make enouph god this sucks any women lookin for a alredy made beutifull family im a hick n oldfashioned always always been looked at and commented on but im starting to loose my selfesteam huh i shaved my beard n dont like it i was upset my oldest says i now look like a supertrooper hes not helpin but i understand hes bein funny, im not rely lookin for a new lover but at this point .....?
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