A
female
age
41-50,
*eavemealone
writes:I have been marrried for 7 years and have a 3 year old daughter. Before I got married I told my now husband that I wanted children. He said he was not interested in having any. I told him I couldnt marry someone who didnt want children. To cut a long story short he changed his mind and agreed. After 2 months of marraige he again said he didnt want any. After a while of convincing we had our daughter.I am now really keen to have another but am scared to mention it as I know what the reaction will be.What can I do? Should I just accept that I will only ever have one child or ask him what he thinks?I have always wanted a big family. My friends and sister either have two or more or are pregnant and I am so jealous. Please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2007): Why did you marry someone who didn't have the same values as you? To have or have not kids is a deal breaker(divorce) in my books. In the end, all you will be left with is resentment if you push further. You married the wrong man.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (11 December 2007):
 You knew his views before you married so you should repsect them. That doesn't' mean you can't ask though. It just means that you had a deal and he might not be willing to renegotiate...again. You can ask and see what he says. Let him know your feelings.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2007): Your husband seems to be a reluctant father who gave in to you rather than lose you, and probably wrongly assumed you'd fully accepted his stance when you got married.
You knew his views before you married him, so you must have known how he felt about the whole issue of children. Maybe you married the wrong man if having children is that important to you. I think it would be unfair to any future child if your husband is still of the same opinion because that child will only be half-wanted.
However, having had one child maybe he's seen what a joy they can be (and a pain at times) and it might just be possible that he's altered his outlook on the matter.
All you can do is tell him you'd like another but if he's against it I think you'd be wise to leave it at that, and not have any 'accidents' - for the baby's sake.
Phil
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