A
female
age
36-40,
*linko
writes:I had sex last night and I didn't enjoy it the least bit. It wasn't my first time. But for some reason it was boring and horrible. It didn't hurt of feel bad, it just didn't feel good.Is there something wrong with me? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, xylplxym  +, writes (12 December 2007):
No don't worry there is nothing wrong with you. The reason why you don't feel pleasure from it could be for a number of reasons. Your situation seems (to me) a good example of why sex is not a nonchalant thing you do because you love somebody as most people today believe. You didn't mention if you were married so lets assume your not given your age. It would seem to me that the problem is you or your partner is having sex just to have sex; for pleasure not love. What you feel then is the guilt of being used instead of loved. And yes, for all who don't know, lust is not love. I'm like sixteen and I know better than you adults which disappoints me.
Truthfully, sex when used the right way has nothing to do with technique but rather your expression of love in the fullest way you can. Don't listen to others who don't see something so obvious. Those that are married (granted in a good marriage) feel something much greater than the simple pleasure of sex and the small feeling of love that accommpanies it. Plus there is no shame of looking bad during the act if you married someone who completely accepts you.
Yes this is a Catholic bias but don't ignore me for that. You don't hear me nay-saying any of the other humanist or whatever bias answers/suggestions. Just hear me out.
I suggest you use this experience to reexamine why you are having sex as the problem is most likely an inner one.
A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu  +, writes (11 December 2007):
 It might not have been you it could have been him he could have been inexperienced or just bad in bed it happens next time you take control you will enjoy it more
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2007): well, to avoid any 'cold fish' rumors... Did you participate, were you excited about having sex? Did you change it up and move around and take charge and such? Basically, if you think you tried to make it enjoyable for both, and it still wasn't... maybe it was the other person. A cold fish is a person who just lays there and waits for the other person to do everything. If your actively participating it should feel good, finding the right positions and speeds. Ask yourself why didn't it feel good, was there no connection between you and your partner? if you say boring that's what it sounds like... I'm sorry you had bad sex, but it does happen occasionally. If after thinking about your 'performance' you still think something is wrong with just you, ask a doctor. Family physician or Gynecologists are the best. Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (11 December 2007):
 No, sounds like this person was just sucky.
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