A
female
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anonymous
writes:Im a bit down at the moment and I think some people will think this isnt a real problem but its upsetting me quite a bit.Im 23 years old and have ben single for just over a year now. My last relationship ended in a bad way so for a while I wanted to stay single. Now I think Im ready to settle down again but Ive realised that men arent actually interested in having relationship with me. I live in a small town, where everyone knows everyone, and I dont mean to sound like a show-off but I know Im an attractive person looks-wise, alot of boys fancy me but dont want to go out with me. I dont know why this is. Im not a slag or anything, since I split up with my ex Ive only had 1 night stand. Ive asked boys out and they dont want to know but they dont mind kissing me in night clubs when they are drunk. Im so worried that Ive done something, or maybe my personality is horrible or something, Im scared this is what it will be like for the rest of my life.
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drunk, kissing, my ex, split up Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2006): There is someone out there for everyone,i was single for two years,don't go looking for love-love will find you.x
A
female
reader, Juliette +, writes (28 August 2006):
 I think you need to give it more time. Perhaps you are going to the wrong places to find the 'right' guy. Perhaps your fears are founded that your had a 1 night stand and the guys in a small town know this. Just be yourself and friendly and not desperate for one of the regular guys who like to get drunk. There may be a new guy somewhere soon who has more ambition and by then you can be practiced in being condident and independant and attractive to someone who appreciates who you have grown up to be. Learn by your mistakes, cast off the old and go forth to the new ... on your own maybe a while longer, then just around the corner ...?
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (28 August 2006):
 Hi, well its their loss, I mean you say you get drunk every wekkend, well most young ladies do, so perhaps its the man who are stuck up themselves and think less of you jost because you get drunk at the weekend. Sorry, I hope you dont think I was saying you are, I just thought that maybe some may think that because some men have the wrong perception of attractive young ladies and I thought it may be a possibility in your case, but its not, so thats ok.
You seem confident and smart, thats good. Why dont you perhaps in a joking way say to one of the guys you have asked out "so am I not good enough for you" I have done it before, its just to get a reaction thats all and they respond. That can be the problem in smaller towns, there are the same old faces and the same set in their ways values. You stay confident as you are, and one day some man will find you irresistable, I mean it. Take care xXx
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for answering my question, yes I ask boys out and I let them know that I like them but they say " Im not ready for a relationship" or "youre a real nice girl but....", The boys in particular that I have asked out have already known me beforehand as I live in a small town and Im sure they dont think Im stuck up - in fact the opposite when they see me wasted almost every weekend ( maybe this is what turns them off?). If I was coming across as stuck up to men I have never known before then I would understand that but I find that all the boys I do know would never go out with me and I dont know why!!!
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (28 August 2006):
My dear, to some men, physical looks are not everything. Perhaps where you live, the men may not take an interest to you, but as you said you live in a small town, I am sure if you moved to a larger town then there would be lots of men who would not only fancy you but want to date you. When you say they dont want to go out with you, have they actually said that? Do you ask them out and they say no? Expain to me. You may not realise it, but sometimes we as people give off a vibe, yo umay do it unintentionally, but you say that you are pgood looking, well there is no harm in admitting that,thats fine however maybe you come across as stuck up to some men. I am not saying you are, that would be absurd, but I have found that true of me, I dont realise I do it but my mum, sister and many friends told me some time ago that I need to stop looking so "up myself" when I am out and about, and its funny because I see myself as quite shy, but for some reason thats how they say I came across.
I am sure it wont be like this for the rest of your life, please dont think that. But maybe where you are located right now, there is not the right man for you. Dont worry, I am sure there is nothing wrong with you, but stay positive. xXx
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