A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Its been about a month since my bad break up with my girl friend of two years whom I thought was "the one." She started dating another guy almost immediately after we ended things which seriously hurt and broke my self esteem a bit. But now I feel its finally time for me to get back on the market; only I'd been in a relationship for so long its been so odd starting back on square one.So I've been doing anything to get myself out there; going to the gym often, studying in public places, going to eat at our campus cafeteria rather than in the room; overall trying to spend as little time as I can on my own and more time with other people. And its worked... I've had several girls express their interest in me; however the problem is, I don't seem to find interest in them.It doesn't have anything to do with physical appearance, but rather they just don't seem "my type." Based on our initial greeting and conversations, most of them seem rather...shall I say, high maintenance and snobbish, where I prefer a sweeter, more caring girl. They also seem to only be interested in partying, which leads me to believe they get more thrill from flirting than actually being in a relationship. I'd much rather be with someone who was more sincere and wanted to go on dates, not just hook-up.How can I seek out more girls who share my interests and don't have the personality of a make-up covered brick? (joking...kind of)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Nime +, writes (9 December 2010):
 You are right though. It will be MUCH harder to find a girl once you're out of college and in the work place.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the pointers! I guess the only bummer is, its my senior year at college. I'll be graduating in the Spring and I don't want that fact to ruin my chances of finding a great girl. Also, our college ratio is about 3 girls to every 1 guy, so there are plenty of options :) Its just that they all seem to be clones of each other, unfortunately.
I guess I'm under a little pressure. I'm convinced once I get a job, enter the work place, and am no longer in school it will be 100 times harder to find a nice girl (don't read that as: I'm desperate to find a girlfriend just to have a girlfriend; that's not what I mean by that)
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A
female
reader, Nime +, writes (9 December 2010):
Well, one thing you could do is look for a girl who looks like she doesn't spend more than half an hour on her looks every morning, however that's not always a good thing. I do have to comment that many girls who seem like the partying type may be that way because they're currently single. How a girl acts when she's single compared to when she's with a boyfriend can be two very different things. Some girls really settle down when they get a guy and go from care-free and self-absorbed to the loving, giving type you're looking for. My friends and I were all like that. It was always sad when each one of us found a boyfriend, because it always felt like we were losing the funny, devilish friend we knew and loved to someone more mature and kind and... boring. I've seen some very dramatic transformations and most weren't temporary. Good for guys like you, bad for us. All I'm saying is first appearances are deceiving, people change, and sometimes you have to try hard and get to know someone before you can decide if they'll be good for you or not. You might find one of these make-up covered bricks is your dream girl. ;)
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (9 December 2010):
 If you're in the dorms, the common room of the dorm hall is usually a great place to meet girls and friends. Remember to make platonic female friends, and keep them all four years - partly because they will have a never-ending supply of cute female friends to introduce you to.
Join clubs that reflect your interests, rather than relying on random ecounters.
No matter what you do, you'll have to filter out the vapid masses to get the nice girls, but mutual friends and clubs should improve the ratios. If it gets too tough, remind yourself that colleges in the U.S. are usually around 60% female, so with 3 girls for every 2 guys, you have some options.
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