A
female
age
51-59,
*ainaa_1752
writes:Hi My husband is the only news editor in his ofis. Its a daily news paper and works hard as he says. I dnt know what he has to do in the ofis but might be quiet bz. He comes home ofcz to eat, bath and to sleep. Usually he comes home late around 2:00am. I am working as a teacher and queit bz too. He is crazy about politics and sometimes during the campaigns he keeps awake to do the works(as he says). Whatever the work he does he normally comes home late. He never was in a relationship before me. When we met he was crazily in love. After our marriage he somehow changed and started ABUSING me. Thats what i say to his treats. I belive he is abusing me and has been too. He HAD sex with some other women and it was released to the public. He still says to me that he loves me. I dont belive him. He spoiled all i had for him. The image of he having sex with another woman never faded. Its still in my mind coz I have seen it myself. This made me strongly belive that he doesnt love me. He was away from me for about 9 months and during this time we fought very much thru internet and phone. It was as if i was never to join him.I went to meet him to the city he was living after the incident. Just for the kids i wanted to try to live with him. During the period i was there with him It seemed things were back to normal. We had alot of sex and it was as if we were newly married. After about a month we came back to live together in the same place where we lived before. He wasnt having a job. When he went to a job and got back his friends,( means he got courage to face the public), he is worse (abusing me more, there came not a single day i felt the pain of his punishments) i could say. He makes fun with kids and whenever possible he spends time with them. The kids feel happy when he is around.Now I am married to him only for the kids. Coz if we get separated the kids would suffer and I belive that the own father would love his kids more than any other man would do. Every time I think of our separation this thinking stops me from doing it. What I want to know is would he be having sex with other women while he is out during midnights in ofis (dnt know wat he does there)even now? PLease tell me what the solution is. Does he love the kids ? Does he love me? Can we ever be happy again? Should I be courageous for a success to come? Pls reply
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Deema  +, writes (3 June 2008):
 Oh dear, poor you. You are very upset. You know your husband is cheating on you or has cheated in the past. He's abusing you. Those are the facts. Do you want to be with someone who does that to you? It only makes your self-esteem go down and down till you have no respect for yourself. You become like a dog waiting for him to throw crumbs from the table. Thats no way to live a life. You deserve much better. Don't worry about the kids. If he's such a good dad he will make sure he keeps in contact with them and has them regularly. I stayed in my relationship for far too long because of the kids and personally I feel I did far more damage by doing that than if I'd left before. I can't tell you what to do, but your kids know far more than you think theydo. As long as you are happy they will be happy too. Do what is right for YOU, the rest will follow. Good luck. You deserve it.
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