A
female
age
41-50,
*irrenity7
writes:I need help trying to understand why I don't have any friends. Here it, is a Saturday and I'm at home with nothing to do... I'm not sure why this is... I've had friends in the past, but every since I changed my life (no smoking weed, drinking, clubbing, etc)... no one seems to be interested in hanging out with me. I'm wondering does anyone have this same issue or had this issue in their past? I would appreciate your input. I'm 28 years old... there's no reasonable explanation why I don't have any friends...I have associates at work, church, school, but no one I can actually talk to on a regular basis and hang out with...help me aunts please!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): definitely join clubs or start doing sports, until you find something you really enjoy. then you will me more likely to find friends as you will have a common interest!also chat to people more at work, school and church and don't be afraid to ask people out. why not see if a workmate wants to go shopping or the beach or a coffee??
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): First of all, I congratulate you on your decision to stay clean and sober! You have made a wise choice! There are lots of people out there that have made similar changes in thier lives. It is just a matter of connecting with them. Maybe there are some sort of sobriety clubs in your area...you can also contact Alcoholics Anonynous for more information!
I was in recovery for 5 years, and had more real friends than I ever had using. And they were sincere friends. don't give up on anything!
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, kaylagal +, writes (12 April 2009):
 I can totally relate - I stopped a lot of the stuff I used to do and lost most of my friends. I now have new friends. There is nothing wrong with being home alone, being out there can be too crazy and such a hassle. Enjoy this time alone and in time you will find new friends, I did. But off course they are not like my old friends so we don't hang out every saturday night but we do other exciting things.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): Very interesting question and a situation i have been in before. It appears you have changed your lifestyle by not drinking, clubbing etc. Now as im sure you know most young people only seem to do these things for social activities now days. I had a problem with drink and I gave it up and therefore ended up alienating my friends who drank every weekend in clubs. I just could not go out sober with them, it was eye opening and wasnt the same. Your lifestyle change is a positive one so I wouldnt recommend you start drinking and smoking again. The only thing I can think of is to find a social hobby, join a club, a sports team or a gym where you can speak to people who have different interests rather than just drinking etc... there are alot of ppl out there that dont drink but you wont find them sat at home. I know its hard to join a club not knowing anyone but seriously its a great way to meet people. If sports clubs etc really aint your thing then you will just have to go out to clubs and mix with people who do smoke and drink but just dont do it yourself. I still go out with a group of friends regularly who all get drunk etc but im just used to it now and they just accept i dont drink and dont even realise. Bottom line is do anything you can to get out, but stay true to yourself. If friends dont want you just because you dont drink then they aint worth having in the first place.You'll find friends who appreciate you for who you are, you just need to be proactive in finding them, they wont just appear out of nowhere.good luck and be happy.
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