A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey. :(I'm in a relationship, and in love for the first time. However, I'm jealous of my partner. Who had been in relationships, and in love before. He's my first, but I'm not his. And it just bugs me, and I feel like I'll never be as important or special.Can anyone relate? Or at least offer advice?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009): Hi. My advice is dont let it get to you. I fell in love with a man who still loved his ex wife. And still did a year into my relationship with him! Very hurtful but id fallen in love so put up with it. I will be honest. It took me a long time to find him and i did feel as tho i was getting his ex wifes sloppy seconds at times but things have slowly changed. He was sitting looking at me the other night with a strange look on his face. I asked what was wrong. He said he was so in love with me and he`d never felt this way about anyone before. He had tears in his eyes. Its taken 3 years but we`ve got there lol. So dont be too upset if there were others. Unless you dated a monk there will have been others in his past. And good for him that he had loved them! So many people have relationships and just `say` they love someone because its expected of them or keeps the other happy!! Atleast he has feelings and was honest with women. Hes a catch, dont throw him back because of your problem, just talk to him for reassurance
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (17 November 2009):
 Hun, whether you were with this special guy or any other guy for that matter - you would probably not be the first love...
However.... this guy is now with you and not with them.... is that not more important that wasting your precious time worrying about the past??
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A
female
reader, Melys +, writes (17 November 2009):
 Just remember that they are his ex girlfriends...and they are ex girlfriends for a reason! Otherwise he'd still be with them now. So he's moved on and found love with you.
Don't worry about his past, it's unimportant. Just enjoy what you have together, that is what's important.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, BlueBag +, writes (17 November 2009):
 I can relate to how you're feeling.
My boyfriend was in a five year relationship before me. He loved her a lot and said he broke down when their relationship ended. He loves me more than anything now and says it feels completely different, in a good way! Our relationship is so much better than there's ever was. I'm his future now. :)
So don't beat yourself up over something you cant control or change. There was a reason why their relationship ended and he's with you now, not her.
Most guys you will meet from this age onwards will have some sort of a past, you'll have to expect it. So concentrate on your relationship now and make it better than it ever was with his ex. There's no point in dwelling, it will only make you bitter.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 November 2009):
Why don't you look at it this way. He's with you over those othe girls, so you're even more special than they were. :) Nearly everyone has a past, and it doesn't mean that someone loves you less. I know a person who's wife died a few years ago, and now he has another girlfriend. He doesnt' love this new one any less, it's just different. That's how it is with your boyfriend. You're his girlfriend now, so he loves you.
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A
female
reader, Elainey  +, writes (17 November 2009):
I used to feel the same thing as you did but looking back I find that this is actually a pretty silly thought. Everyone has his past, and everyone is trying to move on from the past. Even though this is your first love, you can't deny that you don't have any "past"(past crushes, people who likes you etc.).
Don't let your insecurity harm your current relationship be more confident about yourself and maybe you can ask your partner more about his past relationships only if he is feeling comfortable enough to share with you. Maybe after the sharing sessions you will be able to understand him better rather than brooding over this first love tiny issue. Sorry I hope I don't sound too harsh yeah!
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