A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My birthday is in about two months and this year, it is on a Friday.My family (parents, brother, sister-in-law and my sister-in-law's family) keeps on trying to talk me into having a get together at my parents place (they own a camp). The problem is that I hate celebrating my birthday. On my birthday, I prefer to do nothing and just pretend it is another day on the calendar. Nobody singing happy birthday to me, no birthday cakes, no presents, est. Just wish me a happy birthday (takes only two seconds) and I be okay with that. In my eyes, celebrating birthdays are a pain in the ass and not worth the trouble. I am not depress or anything like that. I am just one of those people who hates celebrating my birthday. Is there anything I can do to get my family and my sister-in-law's family to leave me alone about celebrating my birthday? I just don't want to deal with all the birthday celebrations that they want me to put up with. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2020): Each year, plan a getaway/hideaway-vacation on your birthday! Start a new tradition, hide somewhere nice and quiet. Notify everyone by group-text in-advance that you'll be out of town on your birthday! See-yah!!! Ghost everyone! Shutoff your phone!
Since covid-19, there are travel restrictions; but you can still book a nice hotel room, or find a secluded country inn; maybe book an air bnb. Out of sight, out of mind! Wait-out the storm, and return a few days later. Nobody likes throwing belated birthday parties!
Just a side-note. Appreciate the fact that people love you enough to go through the trouble. Do you read the sad stories on DC from people who come from dysfunctional or abusive-families who don't give a damn? Count your blessings!
A
female
reader, Justmy5cents  +, writes (9 October 2020):
 Kindly tell them the BEST present they can give you is no celebration and if they are hell bent on giving a gift may I suggest making a donation in your name to a charity of your choice.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2020): I’m the same. A bit of an introvert so always hated celebrating my birthday. The thought of all these people celebrating me for one day, eyes on me, all wanting to talk to me - no thank you! I’d rather stay at home and relax. It’s your birthday and you should celebrate (or not) - however you please. My family and friends know NEVER to arrange a surprise birthday for me because I would simply walk out. Not because I’m ungreatful and I would certainly appreciate the gesture - but because it’s my version of hell on Earth. They can have a good ol party without me and I’ll go home to my slippers and a cup of tea. My version of heaven. You just have to politely decline the offer. Thank them for thinking of you, but say it’s your birthday and you would prefer not to have a party. That’s what I do and now they don’t even ask me because they know what the answer would be. So worked out for me pretty well. All you can do is be honest but stick to your guns. If they don’t understand that then I doubt they are really having the party for you. It’s just an excuse to all get together and more for them. What’s the point in them throwing you a party (get together or whatever you wanna call it) -if your not going to enjoy yourself? Good luck
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 October 2020):
 I guess this will sound like a lame advice, but... what about simply telling them clearly.
Without getting mad or confrontational. You simply tell them what you told us, that you are not a birthday type of guy, you don't like birthday parties, don't want to be fussed about, don't care about cakes and candles and balloons or whatnot- and , without being depressed or unhappy or sad,- you simply prefer
celebrating your birthday in your own way, home alone with a good glass of wine ( or of milk if you don't drink alcohol :))
I suppose even the more stubborn relatives would abstain, at this point, inflicting on the birthday boy a kind of party that , far from making him happy, would just ruin the day for him !
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A
male
reader, MuchosTacosyChurros +, writes (8 October 2020):
I know the feeling.
Thank them for the thought but tell them you don't want any celebration in polite but firm terms. Tell them you'd like the money they have set aside for food, drinks, presents etc to be given to a charity of your choice.
If pressed tell them the truth: you don't like this kind of stuff and just want to have an ordinary day on the job and their wishes will suffice and be much appreciated.
I don't think you should really do anything more because it's so easy to understand.
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