A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I've started seeing this woman who I really like a whole lot, we'll be going out again soon. The problem is its almost as if I'm running out of things to say. Does anybody have any conversation starters topics to discuss on your 4th or 5th date? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, klapure4 +, writes (2 June 2011):
 Hello there! By the 4th or so date, you two should have been past the awkward phase or have moved on completely! Maybe you like this girl and you want to give it a try. I really commend your efforts and patience because most guys I know, wouldn't have pursued a woman for that long. It's completely understandable that you'd want to give this a try, but you have to ask yourself what's the point in doing so if there's no room for conversation? You don't want to waste precious time with someone who isn't compatible with you or is unable to strike up a conversation with you.
For all you know, she may feel the same way and doesn't know how tell you that it's best you two didn't go out any longer. That's the advice I would give. Good luck!
A
female
reader, mylassie10 +, writes (1 June 2011):
 Honestly, I can understand having some awkward silences but if you have to keep thinking of things to say and the conversation doesnt flow, I don't know if that would work out at least in my opinion. I've been on dates where it's been awkward and I've had to think of things to say or if I ask a question and they just answer it with not much content and then just get quiet afterwards, It never worked for me. There are plenty of people I go out with and guy friends I have that we always find things to say every time and it's never awkward and when I think of that and If I compare my friendship to a relationship where I struggle with conversation, I think maybe this isnt going to work because the person your dating or your gf should be one of the main people that knows you best and where conversation comes easy. You both should feel comfortable with another and you shouldn't have to prepare topics ahead of time. It should just be natural. I know you guys are first starting out but thats usually my favorite time when dating someone because there's a lot you can talk about to get to know that person and their life experiences. Pretend like she's a friend. I'm sure you don't have many awkward silences when it comes to hanging out with your best friends. I wish you luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2011): I think by the fourth or fifth date convo should be naturally flowing, if the the two of you have trouble finding things to talk about then you need to ask yourself if the two of you are right for eachother.
Have you common interests? If so talk about them. Is there anything you don't know about her that you could ask, or maybe something about her that you would like to know more about, in this case you would probe around the topic to get her to open up. You could even talk about your last date with her, "that resturant was nice", "that movie was good". Talk about whats going on in the world, read a newspaper, bring up the topic, get her opinions on things.
Hope it works out for you. I suppose its still early days, but if you continue to struggle to think of a convo starter, well thats not good.
Best of Luck.x
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (1 June 2011):
 Ask her anything you want to would like to know about her!
There is no magic list, but as you get to know her, go with your instinct. Be genuine and sincere with what you discuss. Plan fun activities to do and you will think of thinks to talk about while you are out together.
Generally by the 5th date or so, you sort of know if this is more serious relationship potential. Ask things that are important to the both of you to determine if you are a good fit as a couple.
Best Wishes.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 June 2011):
 Just try and get to know her better. The key to conversation is confidence and you dont need to spend every second of the time talking, comfortable silence is ok as well as long as you are confident in yourself. Just ask her things about her and tell her some stuff about yourself. Keep things easy going and try to make her laugh. Use your personality to be witty and fun to be around. Prepare before hand a few conversation topics that you feel comfortable with and try them out. There needs to be chemistry between two people in order for a relationship to work and it should come to you easy. Obviously at the start when two people are getting to know each other there can be some awkwardness but I am sure you will get by it.
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