A
female
age
36-40,
*lapure4
writes:Hello Cupid! I've been separated from my ex-boyfriend for a little over two years now and we've known each other for over five years. We've both managed to move on and date other people as mutual friends even though it wasn't easy, we still maintain contact on an infrequent basis. But to sum up our relationship from the start, it's been full of ups and downs, mainly because of the distance separating us. After moving back to his home state (over 1,000 miles away) to begin anew after our breakup, I continued on with my life and dated a few men and had one serious relationship. And he's had a few serious relationships (all within a two-year span). He'll touch base with me to see how I'm doing and visa versa but during the times we spoke, it was never to resurrect our past relationship or the love either of us had for each other. Usually when you've known someone for at least five years and know their families very well, that you still love and deeply care for that person. Our relationship has centered around that. So cut to the present tense, he calls me out of the blue after 11pm. I hadn't spoken to him in several months but strangely enough, I noticed that he called twice in one week instead of once like he usually does. Maybe something was wrong! I called him back and he said everything was fine (just checking up on me)...okay. Something was a miss and I know him well enough to know that something wasn't right. And mind you, he'd been in a serious relationship with someone. They were planning a trip to Jamaica, so on and so forth. We made random conversation and then he suddenly blurted out that they had broken up and needed someone to talk to. I was a little hesitant, but offered my sympathy to help him through the ordeal. I gave him advice on what to do, but he said it was useless because he said they were headed for a breakup (he couldn't see himself with her any longer). We talked over the course of a few days and the last time we spoke, he said that he arrived home from a family cookout. A few days prior he complimented me on the advice I gave about the breakup saying that I had grown a lot as a person. Okay..that was flattering. But the day of the cookout, he tells me that his cousin greeted him with, "Oh, where's your ex-girlfriend?" He was referring to me, not the two girlfriends my ex dated after me! I was really startled by that question because why would his cousin bring up my name in two years? Shouldn't I be a blimp on the radar screen when it comes to ex-girlfriends? I asked my ex if he mentioned something about me to his cousin for him to ask that question, and he said no. I totally disagree with that. So, should I treat this as a non-issue or does he have other intentions? Thanks!
View related questions:
a break, cousin, ex girlfriend, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2011): He might have the intention to spark up something with you again. But take a close look at his timing. If his intention is to rekindle something with you, why are these feelings arising so soon after he has broken up with his girlfriend? He is in a rebound stage right now and you are the only girl he knows who is "available" for him. I wouldn't be too flattered by his insinuations and his need to talk to you all of a sudden. Be careful. I guarantee you he is not over his ex girlfriend and he is more than anything looking for sympathy and a person to talk to. Perhaps looking for someone to substitute what is unavailable to him at the moment.
One of my best friends does this all the time. He is actually an "ex" of sorts (we dated when we were in high school). I have no feelings towards him but when he and his girlfriend have a fight and break up (which happens all the time) he always calls me right away. At that point he always reminds me of our relationship and blah blah blah. I just laugh at him. Deep down I know he is crazy about that girl (he has told me so) and he is just trying to get his mind off of her when he says all those things. Probably as a way to temporarily take his mind off of her.
I really wouldn't read too much into anything he says to you. It doesn't sound promising or truly substantial.
|
