A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I lived in the dorms freshman and sophomore year but now I live in a three-bedroom apartment with M, her boyfriend in the master bedroom and my friend H (gay male) in the second bedroom. I'm in the third bedroom. I brought my mini fridge, microwave, and laptop with printer to the apartment as well as my electronics: tablet, cell phone etc. My parents pay my tuition as long as I don't get below a B and then I have to pay to retake the class I did poorly in. They paid for my dorm as long as I went to church and was involved and as long as I came home on weekends and didn't experiment with partying or the opposite sex. So I'm NOT spoiled. My parents pay my rent and my part of utilities as long as I send them a screenshot of what they are. All I pay is my phone bill and bath stuff and food. If I want good grades I can only work three days a week. So I have everything I NEED but little money for what I want. Meanwhile, M works full-time, goes to school part-time and pays for everything but school. (Her parents pay). D isn't in school but he does roofing and plays violin for weddings and things like that. H is in school full-time like me and works full-time too so he's busy and USUALLY not the problem as he isn't here my h.They were my friends in the dorms (Merrie and H) and we're fine with me until we moved in together. That's when M dropped down to part-time schooling and started calling me spoiled. Her parents didn't want her to get an apartment and wanted her to move home and continue school online where they could keep an eye on he. The reason for that is that she had a pregnancy scare when she first started seeing D. She told her parents she lost the baby at 10 weeks but I think she had an abortion. That's why she was in HUGE credit card debt coming into the apartment. From taking out an advance. It's not like she bought anything huge, the TV and Xbox came with D. So I think she had an abortion and is lying to everyone. Whenever she isn't in class or work, D is with her. He picks her up and drops her off everywhere and even showers with her and stands outside the bathroom while she goes and talks to her. So he's kinda weird. He's real protective and against abortion so she's lying to him too. H decided to get a dog a miniature collie puppy. The problem is H is almost never here and M and D refuse to get their lazy butts out of bed and take Tootsie outside. So she pees and poops everywhere she feels like it. They curse her out when they step in it but just leave it on the floor for ME to get and our apartment stinks! I do the best I can, even bought special carpet cleaner, but Tootsie thinks the apartment is her toilet. I can get her to stop and go outside (and pick up after her too) when I'm home but I'm resentful. I'm also the only one who gives her a bath and H had never once paid me back for food. They all feed her bits of people food like junk food and pizza and theywonder why she gets diarrhea. H blamed it on the generic food I can only afford to buy and he's never taken her to a vet. He did take her to a pet psychic once so he could afford that. No one cleans anything. I bought plates and bowls and cups from a thrift store and even carried them on the bus but no one helped because I didn't have gas money. The rare occasion I ask for a ride they act like I asked for their first born! But they give H rides all the time because apparently he's too good to take the bus. They go out to the gay bar every weekend and expect me to tiptoe around them the next morning. They get mad when I clean and then stay up late playing Xbox or watching TV really loud.Also, I have my own fridge and microwave for a reason and I put a lock on my bedroom door. They won't tell who (I think D) broke into my room and ate up the food and cheese and crackers I had in there. It was mine! I treat myself ho pizza once a month and they help themselves before I eveymake it to my room with the box but they never chip in. It's always always always about how my parents pay for things and how I'm being a spoiled brat and how I'm being rude trying not to share food.Yesterday, Tootsie somehow got locked in my room where she pooped everywhere, including on my bed. She ripped into my junk food and threw up every where. No one knows how that happened. No one will tell! I went off and now I'm getting the silent treatment. My tablet is picture locked and I saw that M tried to get into it multiple times. Also, ppl want to use my printer all the time but no one buys ink. It's just being a nightmare now and I don't know what to do.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2020): Only viable option is to move out...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2020): OP, talk to your parents, and move back into the dorms unless your wise parents have a better solution. You also should just up and move without giving the roomates any notice! Giving them notice gives them time to ruin everything you own, just for spite! If you are on the lease, then things are more complex. You should contact the landlord and lay all of their behaviors out, in writing! Now, I will not advise you to do this, but if I had been in your place, I would have taken that dog to the SPCA as a stray dog, so the animal would be cared for properly and have a chance for adoption into a great home. You have good caring parents. Be wise and take all of this to them, because they are the best friends that you ever will have!!! Best wishes OP and may GOD Bless You!
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A
female
reader, AnnieV1979 +, writes (24 February 2020):
 The dog, that's the biggest problem. So H IS the problem BECAUSE he's never there to take care of the dog. NONE of these people are friends to you: they just want low-cost rent and free food as well as a dog sitter! I agree that YOU need to move. They're not going to change their behavior. Swallow your pride, ask your parents for help, and move home.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2020): Many of the original posters who come to DC for help go through hell; because they don't know how to set boundaries, and they won't be direct with people. They want to be liked, they don't want to rock the boat; or they are too timid to get straight to the point about a problem. Only because they're too busy trying to stay on everybody's good-side; or they are just too damned chicken to come right-out and tell the culprit behind all their problems what it is they're doing that is causing the problem, or conflict.
Instead, they wait until everything piles-up too high; and then and only then, will they blow a gasket or go-off. By that time, no one is taking you seriously. They've seen no consequences or know no boundaries; so you're just spouting-off, and they'll just wait until you're done, and it's back to business as usual.
I read your post carefully to see where you've sat-down in a group meeting and told your roommates all the things you described in your post. You only speak-up after too much has happened. Once things have gone too far, nothing you can say or do short of kicking everybody out will be effective. You've waited far too long, you tried not to come across as bitchy, and you've totally misread M to be a friend. She could not care any less what's happening to you; and if you've noticed, never once has she ever come to your defense...be it about the dog poo, breaking into your room, or violating your private space. She's jealous of you. The good-girl, who's parents pay for everything' while she works her ass off. She really doesn't like you. She resents you too much.
Therefore, you live in virtual hell; while helping to pay the rent, provide everyone snacks, and you own a community-printer at Lottie, Dottie, and everybody's disposal.
You might need to find yourself a nice studio apartment somewhere close to school. You can't have too many roommates; and now you also know H isn't an ally, nor a good-friend. If he was, he would watch-out for you, defend you, and try to convince others to leave you be when they gang-up on you.
Ask your parents to find you a place to live, or move back into the dorm.
I know you're avoiding that; because of their rules and restrictions. They barter for your obedience and good-behavior. They're good-parents and are teaching you how to negotiate and live-up to your word. They might find you a place better suited for privacy, quiet, and maybe with no roommates at all. You may have to offer something in exchange; but look what you're dealing with now.
You can't change your roommates; they don't come from a structured and disciplined-household, like you have. They are too busy rebelling against everything requiring them to be responsible or considerate. They all resent your perceived privileged-background; so they bully you, and take advantage of your timid-nature.
I'd call a group-meeting, and tell them that you're not cleaning-up after the nasty dog, or you will report it to the landlord. You must lay-out to them all that you've written about them in the post. You haven't, because you're afraid they will turn on you. You're right, they will. Therefore, your only sensible remedy is to move.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 February 2020):
 Time to find another place to live, THIS isn't working for you.
You can't change HOW they behave and you can't MAKE them care.
As for whether she had an abortion or not, NOT you business.
WHAT is your business is finding some place else to live. Is it more expensive to live in the dorms? If not... See if you can move back in. ASAP. If you are on the lease, you might have to try and find a replacement to take over your share, if you are NOT on the lease... JUST move out. Give them 1 or 2 weeks notice (as soon as you HAVE a place to go.)
That dog didn't break into your room, SOMEONE had to have opened the door for the dog... You know... someone with opposable thumbs...
Enough is enough. It's DISGUSTING to live with slobs who also get a puppy and then let the puppy crap everywhere. Disgusting.
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