A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 26 year old man and have never had a relationship or any kind of sexual experience, ever. In truth I haven't even tried to because to be blunt; I'm just not interested in it. Going through puberty I did feel like I wasn't like my peers. Whilst they all began to talk about girls and sex and masturbating, I just wasn't interested.But as I got to the age of 17/18 I did find it strange that I just didn't find any girl in any walk of life attractive in the least bit, which made me assume that I must have been gay and not realised it. However, I felt the exact same about men, if not more so. I would have thought I'd have had some kind of sexual urges at some point but I haven't. Hand on heart, I've never masturbated in my life. I just think the whole process of sex is just weird and unappealing, as is kissing. If I see any people kissing in public or TV and film I cringe and have to look away.I also don't see the appeal of being in a relationship with someone because I don't want to share my life with anyone else. I'm more than happy to be friends or casual acquaintances with someone but that's it. Luckily I do have many good friends so I'm hopefully not doomed to a life of loneliness.It's made me come to the conclusion though that I must be 'asexual'. Can anyone else identify with this? I've honestly never encountered another person who feels this way.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2020): Yes, there are other asexual people. I’m one of them, which is what inspired me to reply to this. I’m not surprised you haven’t met anyone else who feels the same way, as it IS very rare. There are also different variations of asexual. Some asexuals like to be in a relationship. I’m married, and have been for ten years, but my husband and I have never had sex. We like kissing with no tongue, sitting close to each other, and the occasional cuddling. He is like me, although he has said he has some curiosity about sex, whereas I’m perfectly happy to go my whole life never even trying it.
I’d advise you to embrace who you are, and don’t be ashamed of it just because it’s not “normal”. If you don’t want a relationship, that’s perfectly fine.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (25 February 2020):
 Since being Asexual is a "thing/label" there are without doubt other people who feel the same way.
There are degrees to where you are as an Asexual, some want physical contact (like cuddles) but no sex, some don't want that. It's all up to the individual.
You have a good deal of friends which means you obviously have people around you who like YOU for you, not for your "label".
But if you are looking to talk to like-minded people - I'd some googling and see what is out there as far as forums, just (like anything else online) be mindful of your privacy and safety.
There is nothing "wrong" with you. You just have no libido to speak of and no interest in sex. They estimate that 1% of people are asexuals. So it is a tiny group.
Do you, enjoy life.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (25 February 2020):
 Asexual = little to no sexual attraction to anyone
Aromantic = little to no romantic attraction/interest to anyone
Libido = level of desire for sex
Celibacy = choosing to not have sexual contact with anyone, regardless of sexuality or libido
There are lots of asexuals and aromantics in groups online. It’s not remotely as common as other sexualities, but there are still many of them. You sound more like an aromantic person with no libido or no interest in sex, though you could also be asexual, if you don’t find anyone sexually attractive.
I’ve put the definitions above because asexual is often misused and misunderstood. Many asexuals still want relationships and/or sex, they just rarely or never get sexually attracted to anyone. Find asexual and aromantic groups on Facebook and get an idea of how you’re not alone.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2020): Typo correction:
"If you've got friends who love and understand you, does it matter whether they're asexual or not?"
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2020): You aren't alone; but at your age, you may not find many people in your ilk. You don't have to apologize for it, you're happy and have friends. Some may never reveal the fact they're asexual, some may not be happy with it; and some people may seek others online. It is what it is!
You're happy, self-aware, and a sociable-dude otherwise.
It's not something people advertise publicly; but if you venture online, you'll find people of every type and taste.
The trick would be finding people who are telling you the truth, and avoiding creeps.
If you've got friends who love and understand you, does it matter whether their asexual or not?
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