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anonymous
writes: Since my baby was born 6 months ago my relationship with my partner has been under much strain. We've always had a rocky relationship but things usually resolve themselves. At the moment it is as if we are two parents cohabiting in the same home and the arguments are constant. He inslts my family and accuses them of taking over things, not respecting him as a father. With me its as if i cant do anything right ever, my daughter is a handful and some days chores dont get done. Instead of praising me for what i can do, it feels as if hes crushing my self esteem. m no angel, i know i dont appreciate him enough but i dont know how to get the spark back into a relationship that is dissolving. Things have certainly been over pressurised since my daughter was born and i dont know what to do?I sit and reflect about the value of my relationships and sometimes i get confused with what i feel. This sounds silly and strange but who am i supposed to love more? my daughter or my partner? or both? and how can i save my relationship with my man?
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female
reader, beenthere +, writes (19 December 2005):
firstly you must remember that this is not about who you love more because your daughter must always come first. i have a 6 month old son myself and a difficult relationship so i can sympathise with what you are going through. let your man know you appreciate things. even if he loads the washing machine or vaccuums, make a fuss of him and tell him how much you appreciate it and thet it has really helped. your partner needs to understand that looking after a baby is a full time job and you can't do everything. do you have a friend or family member who would babysit for you, over night is best? try to have a night out together. i know i felt that my relationship had been forgotten along with the reasons we were together in the first place. this often happens as your life is taken over by a baby and it can feel like that's the only reason you're still together. my partner and i got my mum to babysit so we could have a good night out doing things we both enjoyed and we rediscovered what we had in common. we had a really good night, our first together for more than 6 months, and enjoyed each others company again. if you can't get out then think of something you and your partner enjoyed together at home pre-baby and suggest that to him. something as simple as a nice meal and a glass of wine in front of the telly once the baby is asleep. just remind your partner that you don't expect to do all the work. hope that's helped. good luck
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