A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm about to be a sophomore in College and after a year of getting away from the high school scene, I thought a few feelings for a former teacher would subside, however, I think they've only grown.From my freshman to senior year in high school, I became personally close with a fine arts teacher (who I had every year). After helping me with a life-changing experience my junior year, we became even closer. Our one-on-one talks at school in his office became more frequent and longer. He's about 13 years older than I am, but the student/teacher relationship was a full blown friendship by the time graduation rolled around. I hoped that after I walked, my focus would shift away from my attraction for him, but in fact, I'll almost push this developing feeling to love. We text often, he invites me to drop by the high school to say hi, we even say "love you" and hug when we depart after meeting. I've brought him coffee, exchanged personal information with him, only to become closer. He is single, unattached, no kids.I'll almost go far enough to call him one of my best friends. But do I go for it? Do I risk the relationship/friendship for the possible rejection?All through HS, I was known as "his favorite," or worse, "his daughter." Once, a parent assumed an "inappropriate relationship" (which was never the case). HELP. I'M SO CONFUSED.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2013): The problem is that I can't tell what implications suggest mentor or relationship anymore. Honestly, every action is questionable and the line is so gray now that I don't even think there is one. After texting him recently saying that I missed him (after purposely distancing myself from him), he suggested lunch. With exam week though, I was unable to go. What now?
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 May 2013):
 you are over 18 and legal and no longer his student, therefore there in no legal impediment to you being partnered with him. the moral and ethical implications are the concern.
the concern is that his behavior with you WHILE YOU WERE HIS student was so blatant as to be noticeable by other parents.
If you can't stop wondering and thinking then you have two choices... one is to risk losing him totally as a friend to find out if he's interested in you as more. If he is, and he's willing, then you have the makings of figuring out if it will be more than friends. IF he's not interested, you both may become so uncomfortable with the elephant in the room that the friendship is forever affected.
the other option is to consider that you are just friends and he sees himself in the role of mentor.
has he given you any indication that he wants more than a mentor student relationship?
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A
female
reader, malletchick76 +, writes (5 May 2013):
 Try waiting till you're done with your 4-yr education. Things might change as you continue to surround yourself with people your age and with similar goals to you. If you still find that the feelings are there after that point, then go for it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2013): Well you're not his student anymore and you're an adult now and not a minor so there's no boundaries being crossed anymore and no inappropriateness anymore. Now you're just two adults who know each other and are both single. So I say you should go for it. Why not start by asking him out on a casual date?
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