A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Lately, the guy I like has been avoiding me lately. I'm also kind of sure he does like me back (maybe, I'm not completely sure). When we pass by each other in the hallway, we would always say hello and have a quick chat. Also, normally, we would walk to our locker to put our tennis racquets away (we share lockers). On Friday though, he decided to go straight to his class and he didn't stop by our locker to put his racquet away. That was when I thought he was trying to avoid me. Yesterday, I was walking and I saw him turn a corner towards me. We both made quick eye-contact and I was about to stop him to talk to him what's been up. Instead, he quickly looks away steers himself into the boys bathroom. Also today, I was talking to my friends and the guy I like came over too. I decided to try to not make eye contact towards him or even talk to him. I was tired of all of this. I think he was kind of glancing at me, not sure.Just now, he suddenly talked to me on facebook after like, a week. He asked me if I was mad at him, and I said, "yes, but i'll talk to you about that tomorrow. You've been making me feel depressed." He replied saying, "i'm confused, but I'll talk to you tomorrow." And I turned my computer off after that. Now, I do want to tell him that he's been making depressed, but I also want to tell him that I like him. I really don't know if I should do that because I don't know what he thinks of me... I kind of want to just straight up tell him, but I have a fear of rejection. So please help me what to do. I'm so scared...
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male
reader, YourCoach +, writes (9 May 2013):
Hmmmm honey, sorry to break to you, but behaving the way you did, does not help you very much. At all actually.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2013): Sorry OP but you come off as a needy drama queen. You told a guy you like, that he makes you depressed? How is that supposed to make him want you more? "I make you depressed? Oh god that's just so sexy, I need you!"
If anything he'll be even more awkward and far less likely to want you because why would he want to get with a girl who he makes sad? We want to be with girls who we make happy, not moaning over the top girls who give us shit when all we did was not stop for a conversation when we were off for a piss.
You see you're now going to give him shit when he did nothing but go to the bathroom, or go to class when really if you wanted to talk to him all you had to do was call his name and he probably would have stopped and talked.
OP can you not see how telling a guy he makes you sad and that you like him in the same sentence is going to sound needy and weird? It's like emotional blackmail.
I mean it's okay to tell a guy it seems like he's avoiding you, but to tell him he makes you depressed, put some kind of blame on him when he has no idea how you feel about him? Not going to work out well for you OP. because that's drama and you're creating it out of nothing because you're hurt because you like him and he walked past you a couple of times awkwardly.
Get rid of this "depressed" bullshit OP, why are you trying to guilt trip him? How is it a good thing to make the guy you like feel like he's done something wrong and hurt you? Do you want to be wanted or pitied, do you want a guy who likes you or just feels bad about hurting you when really it's only your feelings that have hurt you and he's done nothing wrong?
OP don't give guys you like shit for no reason.
Just tell him you're sorry for that message, he doesn't make you depressed you were just having a bad day but you kind of feel like he's avoiding you too. Wait for his repsonse and tell him that you like him as more than a friend and thinking he was avoiding you did sting a little.
OP either tell him or stay depressed. If he doesn't like you then at least you'll know and that'll be the end of it. Not knowing, hoping, being depressed because he didn't fall to his knees and worship you when he sees you is far worse. Plus you're creating a tonne of drama already over every little minor thing. Letting him know will end all that as he'll either admit he likes you too or will tell you honestly that he doesn't. Rejection stings OP, but nowhere near as bad as all this "is he ignoring me, does he like me" not knowing shit.
Time to bite the bullet, but be as relaxed and non-drama as possible. You're far less likely to succeed with guys if you come off as an over emotional drama queen who gets depressed by us guys. We want fun girls, not sad lonely drama queens who give us crap. Stop taking this whole thing so seriously OP, there's billions of other guys out there.
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