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anonymous
writes: Hey everyone, thanks for reading. Right now my husband is deployed in Iraq and I am just so depressed because of it. I went to my home state to visit my family for two weeks, but it went by so fast and just made me miss both my family and my husband! I want to go to the base clinic to talk to a doctor about the way I've been feeling, but I'm kind of scared to do it. I mean, if it's not clinical depression and it's just because of circumstance, what can they really do for me? I just feel like I can't handle living across the country from my family while my husband is serving in Iraq. I get extremely upset and just spaz out from out of nowhere. I can't sleep. I drink way too much. I don't know what to do. If anyone has any advice they can offer me, it would be greatly appreciated! Thank you for reading!Always,JJ
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female
reader, Midge  +, writes (27 August 2007):
 Good idea! Foster another dog. I have two puppies and trust me they are an absolute handful, but one hell of a weight loss program. I have lost loads of weight and it feels great!
Feel good about yourself that you are killing two birds with one stone. Making yourself a sexy goddess and giving some poor soul a loving home while a family is sought for him or her!
Let me know how you get on!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for responding. Your ideas were great and just your input is much appreciated. I'm going to start working out while my husband is away, so he can come home to toned, sexy me, lol. I was also thinking of fostering another dog while he's gone. I already have a dog and a cat, but temporarily having three animals would really take up my energy and time. I will be starting college soon, too, so I guess that'll help as well. I loved the anonymous person's advice about taking the opportunity for self development and thinking of myself as someone in my own right. Thank you all for taking the time to answer this question. I really do appreciate it very much!
Always,
JJ
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2007): You are being self destructive with your thinking and your habits because you feel pain and sadness and to an extent loss - loss of time with your man. During this time you must think of yourself as someone in your own right - not detached from your relationship but not 'on ice' as this will lead to depression - you are a person who needs to nurture themselves. When he comes back from Iraq he will need you to be 110% the amazing 'you'!!! I guarantee he has been missing you so badly. Ensure you invest time in yourself mentally and physically to be the best you can and are. This is a very testing time but you can turn the situation around if you think differently about the small but significant opportunities for self development - whether it is trying out new recipes or doing some exercise or a new creative hobby. It will give you loads to talk about when he returns. Be strong and god bless you both.
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female
reader, i might be a girl but i can help +, writes (24 August 2007):
 have you tried going counselling just talking to someone who doesn't know you or your family eally helps, talk about how you feel and maybe go and see your doctor bout why you can't sleep. and go out with your friends, join a club to get your mind off things, or you can get a pet to keep you company, having a pet helps many people get over lose or in your case fill a gap for a while. i can not begin to understand what you are going through right now but i hope your husband comes back to you soon.
best wishes x
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female
reader, Midge +, writes (24 August 2007):
I know how you feel to an extent. I used to live about 600 miles away from my mom and dad, and my boyfriend was always away on tour. He used to be away for months at a time.
I got depressed because I didnt know where he was, or if he was safe. He was actually on one of the flights that was flying into New York on 9/11, so you can imagine I was petrified to think that he was possibly on one of the flights that was highjacked. So I can imagine that you feel like that a lot too. Just more often!
My boyfriend used to get upset because every time he went away he used to come back and I had another cat or dog, or had a new car etc. I used to take my depression out on my bank account, and alcohol.
I used to find though that the best way to deal with it was by putting all your energy into something that means a lot to you. It is VERY difficult at first, and perhaps just speaking to the doctor on the base will help energise you to start putting your energy into something else.
I love animals, so I started volunteering at the animal charity events and became a member of a number of charities doing events all over the country. It got me out the house, and I could take my dogs with me, while my cats were sitted by a friend of mine. Try focusing on something you like/love!
I also started my own business while he was away. It was a big surprise to him, to come back and find that I had my own business and employees!
Think big, but start small!
Any time you want to talk, dont hesitate!
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