A
female
age
30-35,
*urdak
writes: My boyfriend of 2.5 years said he wants to break up with me after we had a really bad sex. Somebody help me plz..We are from different countries (Greece and Turkey) which people do not see it as a good thing to marry someone from the other nation. (My family doesnt know him, but his whole family knows me) We have been dating for 2.5 years and we live together. He was treating me really good first 10 months. He was showing me his love etc. Then he changed totally. whenever we were having fight, he was telling me he wants to be free, he doesn't want to have a relationship, he loves me but he doesn't want a relationship. After me crying, he was taking his words back. He broke up with me after 1 year and we didn't talk for 10 days. He called me after 10 days, crying and asking me to take him back. He told me how he missed my voice and how bad his days passed without me. I forgave him and we got back together. But this didn't change anything. He continued doing same things. Whenever we had fight he just told me he wants to break up, because he wants to be free. But i begged him not to leave me. then he didn't. This thing happened many times. Now we are in a really bad situation because we were both in the UK for our studies and this July we both graduate and after that we have to go back to our countries. All this years, he was telling me we will surely break up when we finish our studies because he doesn't want to marry so young. ANd thats why 1 month ago, we separated our rooms. we spend less time together. But this kills me. 1 week ago, he came to my room to stay for some days without me telling him to come. he told me he doesn't know how he will live without me..and today, he came to my room..we had sex but he got unhorny after some time. (for 1 month we didn't have sex) we stopped. Right after he told me 'we should break up', I said ok, I was really shocked ..I just said OK. He stood up after some time and was ready to wear his clothes. I just could't stop myself and starting crying.. I felt really used.. When I was crying, he told me I misunderstood him, he wouldn't leave me like this. He was just suggesting me that maybe we should break up.. and now i am alone in my room.. I told him to decide what if he wants me or not and whatever his decision is I wont beg him this time.I don't know what he is doing.. He always says he wants to leave me but he also says, I am part of him. He is different always. Thats the reason why we are still together. I dont know what he is thinking.....help :(
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female
reader, Madalo 1 +, writes (27 March 2011):
He really doesnt seem like a person to spend the rest of your life with. You are unhappy in the relationship, he constantly tells you he wants to break up and he stopped treating you nicely long ago. If you want hapiness in your life you better move on though it will not be easy but you must do it all the same. He may come pleading but dont accept him anymore. People have managed to walk away from bad marriages with kids inclusive; you can walk away from this bad relationship and get yourself a happy life. I wish you all the best!
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