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Returning from deployment and know that the LDR I've been in doesn't have a future

Tagged as: Breaking up, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 March 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 7 March 2011)
A male United States age 36-40, *oldieroif0709 writes:

heres my situation im curently deployed and bout to return to the states iv been seeing this girl sence i left the states weve only corasponded threw email and chat i honestly dont see it working out between us but she a good person and dont wanna hurt her anyone have any sugestions on how i can break up with her withoout hurting her to bad if at all?

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A female reader, Denise32 United States +, writes (7 March 2011):

Denise32 agony auntWell, however you end it there's no question but that it will hurt - UNLESS, that is, she thinks there's no future in it, and has come to that conclusion on her own.

All you can really do is to phone her and tell her you appreciate her friendship and that you think she's a good person, but unfortunately, you have come to believe the two of you are not really compatible......if she's surprised, upset, puzzled and asks you for explanations, then you should tell her clearly why you don't think its a good idea to continue.

Unfortunately, being told the reason(s) for ending it is never really satisfactory, but it is fair. Let her express her disappointment or perhaps anger, yes, do that, but don't make it a long call. I'd say no more than a half-hour. End by telling her you sincerely wish for her well-being and future happiness (presumably you do wish that for her, correct?) and then gently end the call.

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