A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been healing for a long time from a severed relationship. I look at people around me who seem to just get up and start dating the next week. I look at Hollywood celebrities who after losing love just seem to move on to the next one so soon (Halle Berry, Kelsey Grammer, etc.). It destroys me though. The investment of time, energy, hope, love, etc....all gone.....How do people move on so fast?
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (7 March 2011):
 Sometimes, if the relationship was really toxic and you couldn't wait to get out of it, you move on very fast, but you do not necessarily date other people.
I think you're mistaking "moving on" for "dating other people", or "appearing happy". These are two different things.
Some people do move on very quickly. I can't speak for them, but I guess that sometimes they weren't that much into the relationship in the first place. Moving on is therefore easy.
A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (7 March 2011):
 Some people confuse lust and/or infatuation with real love.Others have just never learned how to be happy alone, which is why they keep repeating the same mistakes over and over.And some people hop from one relationship into another too quickly because they are running from the pain. Again it's not usually a good idea. Our hearts need time to heal to truly be ready for a new love to come in. On the other hand it is not healthy to stay stuck too long in misery either by refusing to let go and move on.In short there is no set time for any of these steps. Everyone is different and needs to heal the best they can in their own way, in their own time.
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A
male
reader, sebaslookingforward  +, writes (7 March 2011):
Hollywood people don't move on fast. They never are in a serious and real relationship. Don't feel bad about yourself. Move on at your pace and your heart will be healed soon I bet! :) You are young and will meet more guys soon!
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A
female
reader, Aunty Honest  +, writes (7 March 2011):
 I think grief manifests itself in different ways in different people, and just because someone's out dating again, it certainly doesn't mean they're "over it." Someone might be devastated but have to start dating to help them move on. Others rent movies and cry over chocolate. There's no right or wrong way to handle a breakup. Sometimes you feel like you should be behaving a certain way because other people don't get as upset...but I bet they do. And in fact, bottling everything up is often the worst way to deal with grief and heartbreak. So taking your time and being honest about your feelings is probably far healthier. Deal with it in the best way for you, and try not to be so hard on yourself! Also when you go out dating, you won't be going through the motions like the heartbroken Hollywoods, you'll actually be ready. Hope that helps
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2011): I don't think everyone moves on that fast if they have really loved deeply. But if someone really does it may mean they were not that invested in the relationship either at all or at that point in time, that the relationship was not serious for the party who moves on or that they're quite narcissistic, or any other number of possibilities. I don't think because someone begins going out or dating or jumps into another relationship immediately that it means that she/he has really moved on. He/she may just be using the attention to help them not to think about things or to begin to move on.There are very few celebrity marriages that don't have a shelf life, so I wouldn't use those as an example. They tend to let their pocketbooks and their egos drive their relationships, maybe more than the general population does.
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A
female
reader, AlwaysHereToHelp! +, writes (7 March 2011):
 Hey :)Trust me things are not as they always seem. People can be very good at hiding their pain, I know as I was depressed and was self harming but people around me thought I was the happiest person in the world.People might move on very quickly from a lost love and suddenly get new partners but sometimes these new partners can just be a replacement. And we all heal at different rates. Some of us heal in days, others can take years. But you see, as unfortunate as it is, we will never be able to forget our painful memories and they will always be there, but the trick is to try and occupy yourself with other things such as hobbies or perhaps going out with some friends. Try and uplift your mood as best as you can. Try not to dwell on what happend in the past, it can just make things worse. Try to forget and look towards the future. You dont know how great it might be for you.I don't think you are ready to start dating straight away. Perhaps take some time to chill and relax, talk to friends and family. And if you don't have any friends, then join some social networking sites and make some :) Keep positive. I hope this helps ;)
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