A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a christian woman however i havent been living my life the way a christian should. I have been with my boyfriend about 3.5 years. We have two children together, live together, and love each other. We both want to get married but we can barely afford bands, much less a decent wedding. We both really want to have a nice wedding. But i just feel wrong for not being married. Should we just get married at the courthouse? I am i living in sin by not being married? I am really lost. Advice please?
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female
reader, mommy with brain tumor +, writes (17 July 2012):
i am married, i dont feel it is a big deal i personally feel if u love each other and are happy and the kids are happy stay happy there is no need to waste money and time just for a name change and paperwork, that in the end if you decide to split costs more hurts you and the kids and and then you have all kinds of other stuff like lawers to deal with stay happy!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2012): I am in exactly the same situation with my boyfriend. Been together almost four years, two children together, love each other and live together.
I dont think you are living in sin. You love each other, you have two beautiful children together and because you don't have a wedding ring on you're living in sin?
I don't think so, I think God knows you're happy and is content with that.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (17 July 2012):
 I think it will depend on who you ask. For me personally, as long as the committment is there, the wedding, reception, and legal document aren't necessary for some people. To others, they will say there can't be a committment until you get married legally.
My cousin had a small ceremony with her family (her parents and her husband's parents and siblings) in her house and never had a reception. She was happy with this. Her brother went to the courthouse to get married and then had a small reception for family and close friends in a church basement. None of them bought fancy wedding rings/bands. A cousin on the other side had a big cookout around his lake for family and friends and got married. There is no right or wrong way to do things...it is just whatever makes you happy.
Some things have been easier in the past if you were married, insurance, if someone is in the hospital and you need to be there, etc. A lot of these things are getting easier though because society is seeing the need. When your kids are old enough they might have to explain to other kids that mom and dad aren't married, but this is also becoming more acceptable. I just would not let anyone feel like you were living in sin.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (17 July 2012):
 From a biblical perspective, yes you should marry before doing all these things. If you want to get your spiritual life back on track too, i'd encourage you to find a local church where you all feel comfortable going. They may also help you organise a wedding if they're a caring bunch of people. We've all done things we wish we could change. This is your chance to put things right. God bless.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 July 2012):
 go to walmart and buy two cheap gold bands
go to the court house and get married... wear your best clothes and if you can afford it buy a new pretty dress...
take the kids and whomever goes with you out for a meal or go back to the house and have a small party...
save up and have a big wedding reception/party.... (and a vow renewal if enough time has past)
the marriage is not about the wedding it's about the life together...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2012): you can have a nice wedding that doe's not have to be big and expensive . it could be at a church, house , park. you could just have just a few close family, and friends. wedding cost have gone out of site because the standards of people have changed over the years. people are wanting expensive and lavish weddings. a big wedding doe's not make a better marriage. wedding rings don't have to be top of the line either. they are a symbol of your unending love, devotion, and fidelity to your mate. "am i living in sin by not being married?" i think you already know the answer by what the Bible says , and by what your heart is telling you, or you would not be asking. "am i really lost. advice please " in the Bible tells us how to be saved , and how to get to heaven . each person has to come to God them self and accept Christ as their savior , and ask him to save and forgive them of their sins. its not of works or good deeds. read john 3:16, romans 3:10, 3:23 on salvation.
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