A
female
age
41-50,
*antSleep
writes:We have been together about 6 years. We have had good and bad times,,, We had a really rough patch where he was physically abusing me,,I never told anyone or called the police,because I love him and I didnt want him in trouble,among other reasons. After a particularly bad night,he tried to kill himself with pills,,I called for help and had him Baker acted. He stayed 5 or 6 days in the Behavioral Health Hospital.He got out and I let him come home,He was on meds and seemed to want to get better and change his ways.Well 3 days ago we were bickering back and forth and he threw one of our kids toys at me and busted my mouth,,it need sutures but I didnt want to go to the doc. I was angry over it and made him sleep on the couch. Today he said I had no right to still be mad,it was an accident. I stayed mad and so he decided to get even,,he took a bag of my personal items( i tried to get my stuff but he pushed me,and I swung and hit him in his manhood) and set them on fire in the yard,,,and laughed while I cried.He came inside and pushed me into a wall. He then called the police on me and tried to have me arrested for assault for hitting him in the manhood. They came out and said that It is a tit-for-tat thing and that I should stop instigating him and my stuff wouldnt be burned,and he wouldnt lose his temper. They left and took no one to jail,,He was smooth as silk and they believed I caused the fight. It feels like now he really can do what he wants and nobody will believe me. I did tell the police that he has hit me before and the fact he busted my mouth last Thursday. Any one have any advice on what to do? The police is out of the question apparently. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CantSleep +, writes (20 September 2010):
CantSleep is verified as being by the original poster of the questionToday he is saying how much he loves me and would be devistated if I left. He also told me the reason he called the police was "To protect me,and to make sure things didnt get out of hand" Do I believe this? I feel afraid to break up our life. He has me feeling like I am blowing everything out of proportion. I am also afraid if I dont "act" like he wants then he will just call the police and make everything out to be my fault. I feel like I cant move,He is so loving at times that I cannot believe this stuff just happened yesterday.
A
female
reader, Eskim0  +, writes (20 September 2010):
No matter how much you think you may love him, deep down I think you know that you need to leave this man.
No woman deserves to be with a man who abuses you physically or emotionally. You are worth so much more than that.
Guys like that are hopeless. Save yourself the pain and heartbreak and walk out with your dignity in tact and your head held high.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): No matter how much you "love" him, you need to make plans to leave. It will be extremely difficult emotionally but you HAVE to do this. This situation will NOT get better. Focus on your love for yourself and your child and not him. Please do this for yourself and your child. He is an abuser and it will not change. Be strong and set things in motion to have the life you deserve to have which does not include being abused.
...............................
A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (20 September 2010):
 1) can you leave? do you any friends/ family in the area you could stay with? If that's not an option, go to sheltersforwomen.org, and maybe they can find a women's shelter near you. Even consider going to a church, they may have some services you can take advantage of to get you and your kids safe.
2) the next time he puts a hand on you (and leaves a mark) you HAVE to call the police. when it's so far after the fact, the police have no evidence to back up what you're saying. You'll be able to get a restraining order against him if you've been hurt by him, but ONLY if you've been hurt by him so that's another reason why you need to go to the police next time he touches you.
Don't wait for your man to 'become nice'. He is unhealthy, he is dangerous, and he is deadly. Save yourself and your children from a miserable, frightening lifetime.
...............................
|
