A
male
age
30-35,
*ellium
writes:Hello everyone, posted yesterday about an issue with my girlfriend. Now I got another question about sex in relationships. Is it normal that I want sex once a day if the possibility is there? Is it uncomfortable for the woman in the relationship if the man tries to have sex?Another question is about my partner. It's been now 2 times where I had to stop intercourse because it was hurting her, after 20-30 minutes of sex. Am I bad as ass in bed? Is she feeling bad because she thinks she can't make me have an orgasm? I'm pretty much a pain in the ass then a good boyfriend I guess.. I feel sorry for her and I hope she would be more open about conversations around this point..Thanks in advance!
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male
reader, BassiveMalls  +, writes (21 September 2010):
 Wow dude, I didn't know all that shit about not getting to look at her. You have got to get out of there. Not letting someone you are in a sexual relationship with look at you is psycho. She has got WAAAAAY too much baggage and it sounds like its getting to you. You can find someone better, or at least someone you can look at from time to time.
A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (20 September 2010):
 If she has self esteem issues then you need to be spending time complementing her. I'm not saying that you don't do this already. Take her shopping for a new dress to wear to dinner that night, then shower her with compliments all night when she looks amazing!
Every chance you get, look into her eyes and tell her just how beautiful/special/amazing she is. Her self confidence will slowly rise...
Just a thought, seeing as she doesn't like you looking at her body, why not blindfold yourself. runs your hands all over her and tell her how good it feels and how much you love it, that might make her feel very sexy indeed!!!
(Phew - having a slight hot flush now - haha!)
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A
male
reader, Hellium +, writes (20 September 2010):
Hellium is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your tips!
The thing is that she doesn't allow me to get into the foreplay... she always has a problem with me looking at her body. When we have sex it has to be dark so I can't see her body. Othersides she always says I have a beautiful body. I'm a boxer, rugby player for 11 years and run a LOT.in my eyes she is perfect. If she wants to loose 3 kilos, so she shall do it, but not even let me look at her when we go for a swim is pretty hard. She once told me her ex, after he got 30 kilos of fat on himself, told her she was fat only because she said to him he should stop eating junk because he got huge. Maybe this outsaying from him has broken her self esteem... It happened a few months before they broke up, after 3 years together. She talked also openly about her sexual experiences until now, telling that she does almost everything. But hell, I cannot even have a goddamn look at her :( it's pretty exhausting. I'm feeling, as already said, pretty depressed in the past 2 weeks because ofcthe whole situation. I'm starting to think I'm not the right one for her.. She tells me she likes sex outdoors because it's nerve tickling, she likes anal, oral, etc etc.. Well, I can't even touch her breasts, as it seems.. Ah, and last but not most. A guy who I didn't see at a party told her after a little conversation with her that "she isntcany kind of any sort of first place price" (referring to her as not so beautiful) and told also "I bet your boyfriend doesn't even get horny with you".. This whole thing is taking me down, and it even broke me yesterday night into tears. She said sh doesn't like to see me cry because she doesn't know what to say about it.. Well excuse me but I don't want to make you bother about that because it would end with me as the guilty person because I do look good :( dammmit sorry people, I start writing a d get no end.. I wished everything would be easier and nicer, not so fucking retarded and depressive..
Thank you all and sorry :-/
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A
female
reader, Red591 +, writes (20 September 2010):
 Ha where are u at?? just kidding. Get some lube for her. works wonders. i recommend liquid silk or astro K-Y. friction cause a "rug burn"like effect but this help that. some pain is worth it though in my opinion. :)
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A
male
reader, BassiveMalls +, writes (20 September 2010):
If you're hurting her during sex your either too big or too rough. Ask her what it is.
As for sex frequency. Everybody has a different sex drive. I think once a day is maybe the most normal. However the sex drive in Germany is probably much higher than the rest of the world. Ask her how often she wants it.
Talk to her about both of these issues. It's not that big a deal but you do need to communicate and flesh these things out (no pun intended).
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (20 September 2010):
20-30 mins of sex could become uncomfortable for either partner. It's normal for someone to want sex everyday. Maybe you should focus more on foreplay rather than actual sex. Foreplay prepares the body for sex (making the womans vagina wet and allowing it to stretch to accommodate the penis)
But foreplay can be very arousing also, maybe you should explore some techniques online before trying anything.
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