A
male
age
30-35,
*learEyes
writes:Alright This is going to be a bit of a long post, this is a big deal for me so try to bear with me through it. In September I started seeing a wonderful girl in the grade below me (shes a junior/I a senior), but of the same age as me (17, I'm very young for a senior, an early fall birthday). It was my 2nd serious relationship, her 1st and things were, are and for the next few months will be awesome. We lost our virginities to each other, (responsibly) and really just hit it off. Aside from a few trivial disputes we've gotten along perfectly, accepted each others friends, basically been perfectly harmonious for the last 6 months. I've given myself basically entirely to her, I'm kind, courteous, attentive, and did all the research I could to make the sex as fun for her as possible, and succeeded. Things have literally been spectacular. It was a godsend to have something like this happen to me my last year of high school. Whats happening to me now I simply don't understand. I've been accepted to a very prestigious Ivy League university about 4 hours from my home, and my sporting obligations on the track kind of drew me away from her for competition the last few months (meets and such). I still want her and things are fine but Its got me thinking. I don't want to lose her when I go off to school, but I realize the impracticality of Long Distance relationships, especially high school ones.Right now its April 5th or 6th depending on your hemisphere, Junior Prom is May 7th, My prom is may 20th, she has her dress, me as a date, and is really looking forward to it. (I'm going to both, its only right) I want to go with her, but all of the sudden, a group of girls who I hang out with (platonic, I haven't cheated) are telling me how much cuter I got from past years, and kind of asking me about the strength of my relationship. Several other girls have expressed interest in going to prom with me and if not for my quick feet and the intervention of my bros I would have cheated on her a few times at parties while intoxicated. My girlfriend is very attractive, not model-esque but definitely one that guys would consider worth pursuing. She's sweet, nice and very sexy but shes just not that emotionally deep or complicated, shes very simplistic in that sense. I'm average looking at best, athletically built but a bit skinny and only about 5'8 1/2, its the kind of thing where people who don't know me wonder why we're together. I've been told that its my personality, wit,the way I treat her and In my opinion what I've been able to accomplish sexually, along with the fact that I'm her first, that has her so attracted to me. As time goes by, I'm thinking about what I'm going to do in life, how difficult it will be to maintain the relationship. I'm also competitive to a fault, and a nagging voice in the back of my mind wants to be compared, I want to have a shot at pleasing another girl, sort of test out the stuff I've developed (I know all women are different,I know I may sound cocky but its why I need advice) to kind of find someone who can talk to me on a deeper level, other than just simple teenage babble. The only problem is I really really like my girlfriend, and I DO NOT want to see her hurt, even though I know it is inevitable.The road I plan to take is three pronged. The first path has be ending things with her after the prom fire has faded, I don't want to make a mistake on Senior Week (7 days of drunken debauchery in Myrtle Beach), and break her heart. The second road has me trying like hell on senior week to avoid making a mistake, succeeding, and then peacefully ending things with her at the end of the summer. She will obviously be hurt, but Its at least a more tranquil ending. The third road is the most intriguing, we take a 3 month break from late August till I return in November for thanksgiving, and get back together so long as we disclose anything that happened with other people during that time. The endgame for all three is ending the relationship, I'm paranoid and have a massive inferiority complex. I know she'll find someone just as nice, just as caring, just as socially active, just better endowed (never could get quite deep enough with only 6.25) or better looking for picture purposes while I'm away and she'll put me down once I get back. Regardless, there are a few other girls I have "repressed" feelings for that aren't as physically attractive but a better fit for me as a person. Again, I don't want to hurt my current girlfriend though, especially so suddenly after things have been so perfect. I'm conflicted, maybe even crazy (Don't tell me I need help, I'm not going to get it), but I need guidance on what I should do before feelings get hurt.Sorry for the essay, and please respond honestly. I'm a reasonable kid, I have more sense than most 17 year olds. My girlfriend says she loves me and I can honestly say I love her, I just see the inevitable coming. We did very well and I'm never going to forget her and I know she won't forget me. I just need to know how to make this as painless as possible,
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drunk, get back together, long distance, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, misspiggy  +, writes (6 April 2011):
i think youve probably answered your own questions.let her down gently and move on. concentrate on you.
A
male
reader, ClearEyes +, writes (6 April 2011):
ClearEyes is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIts and issue of do I want to marry her...Probably not I dont fucking know, I'm 17.
And then its gna be really tough adjusting to a new lifestyle/hard academics, so do I really have time for her?
Plus, shes kind of a horndog, what will she do for four months without me and still hitting the party circuit? I suspect infidelity.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2011): Are you crazy.. make it work. you may be far away from your girlfriend but ever heard of webcams, skype, instant messenger ect etc . use can always be in touch.im 20 and been dating my man since we were both 15. we both met at school, both eachothers 1sts ect. we of course have our fights but sure doesnt every1.we wanted to be together and despite school and work commitments we are. Although you seem you want 2 play the field for a bit and see what your missing.. if you have that feeling you wont get rid of it and may hurt her more down the line.But remember all girls have the same thing going on downstairs, but can they really give you the love she does??
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A
male
reader, Partyboy123  +, writes (5 April 2011):
 Hello,
I am 17, and I have a similar situation to yours, my girlfriend is going away for school for 4 years after high school. But your problem clearly needs addressing now as it is approaching quickly.
You say you have 3 choices... but really, there is four... even though long distance relationships are impractical etc, but you can make it work... REGARDLESS, any of those three choices you make are going to hurt her and yourself to an extreme level because of how you currently feel for her (you tell her you love her etc., you two have had sex(for the first time as well), you invested all of this time together). You need to decide, is she worth losing or is she not. if she isn't, and you really want to make it work, THEN STAY WITH HER, if you two love each other it will work(and when she is away she will want to be with you all the time don't forget - absence makes the heart grow fonder).
4 choices, all of them lead to some sort of problem... but WE ALL have our problems, and we overcome them and face them one day at a time.
my bad for the essay :)
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