A
female
age
36-40,
*rlamai
writes:Hello,right, I recently came out of a rather abusive long term relationship. Just as the end (a few months ago) I met a man who I have now met up with a few times. He has textedit me every at since we met and has always seemed keen, sometimes saying that he misses me and that he really likes me. On Friday I asked him if he would be going out that night as I would be in a club near where he lives with friends. He first said no but then did come out as he said he really wanted to see me. As it had been a few months of constant talking I ended up going back to his place and sleeping with him. The following day, I went out and had a few too many drinks with the girls and was kind of rallied on to text this man asking where I stood as he hadn't text me at all since the night before (which is very unusual for him.) he didn't reply and when I woke up this morning I nearly died when I remembered. I quickly sent another text explaining I had been drunk when I had sent it and that I did not require a response. He replies several hours later saying he felt awkward and didn't know what to say. I responded saying that that was fine, it was obvious that I liked him but that if he would prefer, we could leave it.He hasn't replied!My question is; shall I leave it a few days and send him a casual text asking if we could go for a drink so that I can explain that I'm not crazy or should I just leave it and accept I was a challenge as I had refused to sleep with him for so long?I really like him and he has told me previously how much he likes me, I just feel quite stupid now and will certainly bump in to him and I don't want it to be awkward. I don't actually want a relationship yet either, I think the only reason I asked was fear of the fact he had purely wanted me for sex or that (this sounds stupid) that I had been so bad in bed he was no longer interested. Or am I just being an insane girl?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (18 July 2010):
 I wouldn't text him again. And I would quit "drunk-texting" from now on ;) It always ends up awkward.
A
female
reader, arlamai +, writes (28 June 2010):
arlamai is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for all your replies!! I have not heard a peep out of him still but I am comforting myself with the thought that he was nearly a decade older than me and that he is certainly immature if he can't reject me in a polite manner.
I at least have my grip back on the situation and have been reminded that some men will actually say anything to get a girl in to bed, I should have known better.
Thank you again :)
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (28 June 2010):
 I wouldn't worry about it. Don't regret a thing you said. just accept it and move on.
If it doesn't feel right then it probably is wrong anyway.
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A
female
reader, Lexie88 +, writes (28 June 2010):
 If I was you I wouldn't text him again. He knows you're interested and if he wants to he'll be in touch. I think you've done enough...there's no need to text more and try to explain.
But if you simply cannot stand the silence, do what CaringGuy suggests. Message him in a few days and if he's still awkward and avoiding you then you know the deal.
I also agree with Dr Psych when she says "If he wanted a full-on relationship he would make it clear, especially now you have asked him to let you know where you stand." If he wanted more than sex he wouldn't be behaving like he is now.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (27 June 2010):
 I don't think you should text him again - it will make everything more awkward and you may come across as being needy. I think you should delete his number from your mobile to prevent you having another drunken moment. If he wanted a full-on relationship he would make it clear, especially now you have asked him to let you know where you stand. Basically his silence speaks volumes. I think you should just go out with your mates, have a laugh and not get in a relationship for a while to recover from the past. If this guy hasn't got the courtesy or courage to let you know his view on things then it is no great loss. Frankly your bedroom performance had nothing to do with it - it takes two people to make fireworks after all!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 June 2010):
Text him again in three days to ask him out. No response after that, and all he wanted was the sex. If that happens, cut all contact permanently, delete his number and such and start moving on.
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