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female
age
,
*ench
writes:I have been married for 24 years I love my husband and he loves me. He has become unhappy in the last three years stating he no longer wants to be in a relationship. But he still loves me as much as when we married. Recently he has developed feelings for a younger women. They are friends but he has informed me that he loves her also. He does not want to divorce me he is not sure what he wants. Oh yah she recently went to prison for the next three months. He hasn't done anything but write and talk with her and send her things. I just am not sure what to do we have however started having open communication. HE in the past would have probably already acted on his attraction but he does not want to hurt me I am so confused what to do. I love him and want to have hinm in my life but i am not sure if I can share him with someone else. He has been getting more unhappy with things and I think he is looking for outside happinees to make him feel better about himself confused in california
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): I've been married 27 years and I can only guess at the pain and confusion you are in. We are here anytime. We cant change his heart or mind, but we can offer you our support. Hugs, mal
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female
reader, wench +, writes (28 June 2010):
wench is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe has had a infactuation with this person for awhile they have been friends but he has always been the rescuer of when she messes up I know that there is nothing more upsetting than to think that my marriage may be over but it ;might maybe when she dumps him i wont want to take him back I guess its a price he will have to pay. I know he just want the best of both worlds And she knows we have been togethor forever I guess what happens will happen
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): no hon, you cannot, CANNOT share. And if he is telling you that he loves you as much as he did in the beginning he is lying. You are believing it because you want to believe it, but that doesnt make it true. He has to make the choice to go or stay, but he cannot have it both ways. Keep your self respect and refuse to share him. I really think he has made his choice and he is just staying until she is out...and she will probably dump him soon thereafter. Thats when he will come dragging his sorry butt back telling you he made a mistake and it was you he wanted all alone. sigh, im sorry sweetie, you dont have any say so really, and i hate that you are going thru this. hugs, mal
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): You don't tell us how long they were involved before she went to prison or before she knew she was going... I suspect that she knew she was going, saw him as a sucker with money and is playing him. Once she's out she'll likely dump him, that is unless he's smart and dumps her first.I think he needs to decide and make a decesion, if you think you could take him back once he gets over this, be careful how you push him out (oh, push him out... just don't light all his crap on fire in the front yard...)
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 June 2010):
Either he stops all contact and puts effort into your relationship. Or you walk. That's the only choice you and he have here. Do not be second best. Make him choose.
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