A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi. i'm single and just cant find a guy. i'm a nice girl but even the guys in my life dont want me- even those i've known for a while. no-one ever hits on me or notices me. how can i find a boyfriend fast and be attractive to men? i want to get married one of these days tookaren Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DJ8433  +, writes (4 August 2007):
 If you want boy's to pay attention to you, then there are some sure fire ways. Buy some clothes that make you look attractive, whatever you are comfortable with, but will make you feel confident. Show some cleavage. Wear makeup, see someone (your own age) at the makeup counter in a department store if you're unsure. If you can afford it, go to a makeup specialist. Get your hair done in a fashionable style. The most important thing. How you present yourself. Are you confident? You can be a good girl, but you don't have to shout it from the mountain tops. The only time you should have to tell a boy you're a good girl is if he tries something. Do you give off signals of, "I want to go out with boys". Do you drop hints about going to a movie, but there's no cool guys to go with. Don't worry about talking, becasue boy's love to talk about themselves. Just start asking them questions about themselves, if you can sit and listen, then they can talk for a loooong time about football or rock music or other "guy stuff". If you go out on a date, go to an action movie, show him that you're a cool chick. The cool parts in the movie are great to talk about too. Be happy and have fun, try not to take life too seriously.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2007): Yes,you ARE over-anxious and coming across as desperate will drive men away, guaranteed.We may THINK we don't come across as too anxious, BUT its easy to send out subtle signals that we are hardly even aware of ourselves, and men will notice every time.Likewise, if a guy comes across as desperate to find a girlfriend, a woman will notice. This tends to make people run in the opposite direction.Focus on enjoying your life, as it is, and doing activities you find pleasant and worthwhile. By all means, pay some attention to clothes, hair and makeup, too, but don't overdo it!Finally, I always say you can learn a lot from cats. Yes, felines. Approach a cat with a pleading tone of voice and "here, kitty, kitty" and guess what? The kitty will back off real fast, whereas if you are occupied with whatever you're doing and not paying the cat any attention, he/she will tend to be interested and seek you out.Not so far-fetched, its not that much different to how men and women react to someone who seems too needy!Relax, and good luck.
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A
male
reader, GreenTea +, writes (3 August 2007):
I'm not going to read the other peoples responses because it may influence my answer.
reading your question I think its fair to say your majorly desperate. Thats really quite unattractive. Please release that love happens. You can't force it.
You don't EVER need a boy friend. You want one. But you really want to be in love. Its time for some poetry
From "The Prophet."
And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Read it, Memorize it, Live it.
-Tea
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A
female
reader, lovejunkie  +, writes (3 August 2007):
 Don't rush. You're bound to make a wrong choice and end up with heartache. Be patient.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007): First of all I think you should try to be confident. When your out and about with your mates and you see someone you like glance at him smile, then continue your conversation and look like your haveing fun and look confident even if you are not a confident girl. Dont act desperate, I've always found men approach me when I least expect it. Dont look and they come flocking. You will meet someone you may have touched someone in your past that has moved away that comes back in contact somehow, it does happen. People move away but you find that one day they will come back. From my experience lads seem to like girls who are confident and keep them guessing.
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A
male
reader, NuVu +, writes (3 August 2007):
Fair or not men are generally very focused on physical beauty. So do the best you can to make yourself look good. Otherwise just smile, have fun, and be honest and caring. All of those qualities are attractive to men.
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A
female
reader, Ladyme  +, writes (3 August 2007):
 Hey
Try having a night out with your girl mates and enjoy yourself. Try to relax and enjoy yourself and men will pick up on that. Or try meeting men through your friends you never know who you might meet.
Hope this helps xxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (3 August 2007):
 I think it depends how you come across to guys. Here is a few tips, get a friend of yours to take you out on a girls shopping spree. Buy a few items of clothes that will get you notice and I don't mean slutty that will attract the wrong kind of guy. Go to the salon and get a hairstyle that is fashionable with a few streaks or tint in it, and ask your friend advice on how to put make-up on too, not too much or you will look like a clown go for colours that will suit you. I am not being superficial, but guys really like a woman if they make an effort with their appearance. I know what I am talking about cos I was an plain Jane at school with glasses and boys never gave me a second glance. Boy as soon as I left school I went to the hair salon got my hair highlighted put on make up and vowed never to be a plain Jane again. I now have two beautiful kids and I celebrate my 40th birthday in December. I am now having the time of my life and I have got a really cute guy interested in me (a Johnny Depp lookalike would you believe), we have been out on a couple of dates already and he is soooo sweet. If somebody told me I was gonna date a guy as cute as that I would have laughed in their face. Plus he is younger than me too I like younger guys they are more fun than their old fuddy duddy peers believe me. Let me know how you got on my dear, and go to the nearest book store and get a book on relationships and dates. Good luck hun xxxx
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A
female
reader, vickiii07 +, writes (3 August 2007):
 Everyones soulmate is out there somewhere.
Looks isnt the most important thing to every man.
Personality is more important.
Maybe you just havent found the right type of man?
Go speed dating seem confident and outgoing and men will love chatting to you.
You dont want a quick bf you hardly know dont settle for second best hunny x
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