A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know this is very long but I'd REALLY appreciate it if you helped me out. Thanks!(we're both 16 years old, both play trumpet, go to diff schools, parents know each other, live 25 mins away)So me and this girl met at a Lions Band tryout last Nov. and we talked alot while we were there. We've known each other our whole life but only as little kids. We both made it (and got to go to a trip to Australia) and I got her number off facebook. (she gave it to me) And we talked and went on 3 dates. We held hands on the 3rd date also. But later on that month (dec.) she let me go cause I never really made a move on her cause I was so shy.So Jan. through May. she texted me first (like a total of 8 times) with just small talk and talking about the trip. We had not seen each other this whole 6 months either. So the trip comes and she wants to sit by me on the plane. So we flirt and all but still never made a move again.. About 2 days later she just plain out ignored me. Didnt say a word to me at all. So that night I asked if we could talk and I just said that I was shy, etc. etc. and she said I didnt have to be shy around her etc. etc. So the next day came and hung out all day in Aus. We went on the bridge climb in Sydney and when we got to the top of the bridge, (as the sun was setting) I held her hand. And we basically held hands the entire trip! The last night of it, we're riding back on the bus and 4 of our friends, (they were couples too) started kissing on the bus. She said to me that she was kinda nervous to kiss me and it took her 7 months to kiss her old bf. She said she really wanted to kiss me! So I just kissed her and she smiled and we flirted and kissed the rest of that night!(on the way back from the trip, we were on diff planes and she kept sending me I miss you messages and things like that!)So we went on 2 dates after that trip. Both of them were awesome!! At the end of the first date, I told her "I dont want this to end, you wanna go out with me?" and she said "yes!" and we kissed a little. At the end of the second date, b4 i dropped her off we made out for the first time. After it, I asked if she wanted to be my gf. She said "yes, but I think we should wait on that, dont take this as a no I really do!" So we met at a DCI show and we hung out the entire night. (family was there so we didnt hold hands or kiss or anything) we hugged And I said we need to hang out again soon, and she said "I know!" So that friday, my family and friends were driving to atlanta for a trip and her dad was going too. I asked her kiddingly why she wasnt going and she called me (for the first time) and explained and just chatted a little. Also she said I could get to know her dad a little.So a couple of days later I noticed she was kinda ignoring my messages, I asked "hey are we ok? and this was our conversation..Her: yes, but I just dont see how we are gonna work out when school starts and stuff. We hardly see each other as it is. :-(Me: well you know I really like you. You're all ive been thinking about ever since I met you.Her: same here, and it kills to not see you, but I just dont see how its gonna work. With lions band we saw each other every day all day for two weeks so it was easy. But now we never see each other. And it will be even worse when school starts. Thats why I said I needed to wait on being you girlfriendSo I pretty much just started suggesting things like we can go to each others churches and football season will end and stuff like that. (I know I shouldnt have kept it going on, dont harass me bout it)Then she finally just said: Kevin.. Its not gonna workMe: Ok I understand, wish things could've worked out(20 mins later)Me: Well hey I dont want to end this on a bad note, friends?(10 mins later)Her: Please dont think that I dont want it to work out. You made me extremely happy. Happier than Ive been in a while!Her: Absolutely! Best Friends!Me: same here! and I will miss youSo she texted me first a couple of days after that just chit chat. She also still "likes" my fb statuses and comments sometimes. So I can kinda tell shes still interested. But I just dont know what to do anymore. Her b-day is Aug. 23 so should I get her a little something and if so what? And our football teams are playing each other sep.3 ON my birthday and we're both in the band so should I tell her I've missed her? We also will see each other one day in Oct. and lions band tryouts are in Nov. I've tried everything to get her off my mind but just cant. I got baptized today and felt great! But I still miss her. I have prayed to God numerous times and I'm asking Him to do all He can to help me with this. Just really I'm asking:Does she still have some feelings for me?Can I do anything to fix this?(and dont say move on cause Im trying to save THIS relationship.)Thanks alot!!
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best friend, facebook, flirt, kissing, long distance, move on, shy, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (28 August 2010):
 Come on,the girl REALLY likes you,she just wanted a bit of PERSISTENCE on your part! and I don't mean WITH WORDS. You handled the texts absolutely great. It's in the actions. Keep playing the "best friend" role,until you get her alone. Kiss her,hold her,and ask her out on a date. Don't mention the boyfriend/girlfriend thing. I think you were in a hurry. If you gradually start dating,she will start to see that the distance isn't a big problem,and you're the sweetest guy. :-)
let us know what happened on her b-day!
A
female
reader, answerfromtheheart +, writes (24 August 2010):
 Long distance relationships are very difficult.
My suggestion would be for you to talk and find out how you feel about each other.
Please understand her point of view that it's hard to be in a relationship when the one you care about is far away. Not many can do that. I personally don't think it should be done, but I've seen some successful stories, so maybe yours will be one of these.
If you flat out tell each other that you like each other and want to keep the contact going. You don't have to be a dedicated boyfriend and girlfriend as the titles imply. Just be two people who care about each other but cannot be together due to circumstances at this time.
You have to be ready to accept that while you two are away from each other she might date someone and so will you.
It may cool down your connection, or it could make it even stronger.
And when you finally do get an opportunity to be together ask her for a chance to start over and date again.
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A
female
reader, Jesc +, writes (16 August 2010):
 You know you have come a long way in this.
I'm glad to see that you don't want this just to end. It's very sweet.
The problem is distance is an issue you both are involved with school,activities,etc. It's wonderful yet sad on both of you. If what you say is true than I do feel that she still has feelings for you.
Try to just be there for her. Be her best friend etc. Let her know you care for her and all whenever you get the chance (but don't come off to needy :]) If her birthday is coming up I say get her something everyone loves getting stuff on their b-day and as to what... Pssh I have no idea you know her better than me :P I suggest get her something that won't cost you an arm and a leg but also something that isn't cheap.
Sadly Distance can strain relationships like no other. But if you communicate well and be honest with each other I see no reason why you can't be together. Talk to her more on the subject. Don't come off as I am desperate I need you now type of guy. Come off as No matter what I seem to do or say I think about you. Try a romantic approach.
I hope it really works out it's a very sweet story that happen between you too. I hope I have been at lest somewhat of help and/or supportive enough.
Please let us know how it goes.
Happy birthday to you and to the girl of your dreams.
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