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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now.Im 19 and hes 21. we are so in love and trust eachother 100% i cant explain how much we really do care and love eachother. We moved in together about 4 months after we got together. it may sound fast but we were both busy people at the time and it was difficult to spend vening together unless we stayed over at eachothers due to lack of transport. we get on great hardly argue but often bicker about rubbish. however im am sooo jelous. i do trust him and have never doubted him but i get so thretened by other girls.if they flirt with him he doesnt react but i get so annoyed and upset. if a girl leaves him a message on myspace i always question it " whos that, why is she messaging you?"it has got the stage where is gets offended and upset everytime i do it. he tells me and askes if i trust him and he knows i do but i cant help it. if he mentions a girl i will 'joke' saying 'you fancy her' n a pretend to be sad voice but i still get the urge to say something. how can i get over this insaine jelousy, it causes upset and arguaments and i hate myself for it? someone please help!!!
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (11 May 2006):
 I used to be exactly the same as you, it is your own insecurities that are causing these arguments, why do you not believe that your b/f is with you because he wants to be and you are the girl he has chosen to be with.
If you constantly remind yourself of that fact and when you look in the mirror also tell yourself that you are an attractive girl and you are young and you have the world at your feet.
If other girls show interest in your b/f let them but also reassure yourself that he is not showing any interest in them but instead in you.
However, I used to nag my ex b/f that he would constantly look at other girls/women and that is extremely normal for a guy to do that. Would you rather he averted his eyes and was not classed as a man, I don't think so. Every red blooded male looks as do most women if they admit it.
I have to say if I see an attractive guy who has fantastic eyes and a neat bum I look so where is the harm, it is harmless. The only time you should worry is if your b/f is actually touching someone else and this is just not happening.
Anyway, when would he get the chance, he has made a commitment to you by living with you and for two people who are still quite young, that is huge so just enjoy each others company as I would say that if you continue along the jealousy line he will get sick and tired of it and you will drive him away, believe me it can get to that stage or near to in my case.
Just believe in you and I bet you turn a lot of guys heads as well so just savour that and enjoy being with your b/f.
Keep me posted eh!!
BFN
A
female
reader, Aunt Jess +, writes (11 May 2006):
 i know exactly wat ur goin through, i do it a lot!! keep reminding yourself that its you he wants to be with, and think about how many boy mates you have n why u speak to them and leave them messages etc and you'll realise theres nothin to worry about. try ur best not to be clingy cos he'll get sick of hearing it. if you feel its worrying you 24/7, get out of the house and keep yourself busy. if u stay confident in yourself, everyone around u will see it, and your boyfriend, and you'll feel like youre looking down on all the girls that u think are "threats" to your boyf. after all, its you he wants. Good luck! please message me if you want more advice x x
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