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male
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anonymous
writes: I could really do with some people's opinions.Before Christmas I met a 17 year old girl and we clicked straightaway. We have loads in common, and have hardly been apart since. I have met most of her friends and seem to get on really well with all of them and some of them have told me that they think I'm really sound. I have also met her mum and brother and get on fine with them; her mum even said that she thinks I'm a good influence on her.The thing that's on my mind is that I turned 26 the other day so there is nearly a 9 year age gap between us. Her mum doesn't know how old I am and I am worried about telling her. What should I do?
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (5 February 2006):
 I had the same sort of problem as mystify. I went out with a guy who had his 20th birthday for 4 years running while I turned 16 17 18 19. My parents say now that they knew but at the time they never let on. It really was up to me I thought to have told them about the 6 year age difference ( a lot when you are 15 and 21 when you first meet) but somehow I just never got round to it. And I also think my Mum knew I was sensible enough to handle it.
In your case I would like to think it is up to your girlfriend to tell her parents. I really don't think it will be a major issue in this case tho. Her family like you and like your influence on their daughter. She is 17 and that is only a few months off legally being an adult, so she can make her own decisions soon anyway.
But if it is really getting to you and you feel as if you are being "fake" then talk to your gf about it and together come up with the best time to approach them and tell them. I bet you find they have an inkling already, but at least you can stop worrying about it then.
Good luck x
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female
reader, mystify +, writes (3 February 2006):
 this one really hits home with me , when it came to my younger man meeting my parents we told them he was 2 years older, just to keep the peace and it worked they loved him , unfortunatly my mum opened some post addressed to me saying he was rejected on my bank account because he was only 17 so it kinda backfired but it jutwent to show though because then she wouldnt have anything to do with him and boycotted our wedding but my dad didnt find out and we are just slowly telling the truth say like he turned 19 then 20 then 20 again , dad didnt really notice so its kinda fazed out but to be honest i dont think my dad would of minded anyway...well i just say good luck to you and do whatever you feel is best the important thing is you accept each other
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2006): you should tell them. The girl is almost 18 so they wont have anything they can say. Im happy that you found someone and dont let somethign as an age difference come between you.
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reader, Kated101 +, writes (23 January 2006):
If you're worried about it maybe you should get your girlfriend to talk to her mum about it before this issue is raised?I dont think you need to make a big issue out of the matter. If everyone her mum likes you as a person she's no reason to suddenly dislike you because of your age. You sound like a really nice guy so don't worry about it, although her mum may be concerned at first Im sure her daughter will remind her that you're still the same person you always were no matter how old you are, and ultimately, its what your girl thinks of you and not anyone else. I hope everything works out well, and dont worry. xKx
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