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Realisation that your ex is a bloody 'user!!'

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 November 2011) 9 Answers - (Newest, 12 November 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Tonight, I have (at last) realised why my ex keeps in touch with me...because he's bored (as he work nights) and for a 'confidence' boost...(occasionally, but rarely texts me when he's off...!)

I am no longer going to play 'his game'...

Just wondered how long it took others to figure the same thing out?!!

(Feel such an idiot as it's taken me 6 months to realise this!!)

View related questions: my ex, text

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (12 November 2011):

Miamine agony auntlol... hahahaha.. I like your style a lot.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2011):

OP here! haha Chigirl, I like your style! ;-)

@ Miamine I guess you are in a similar position?

Guess what, right on cue, he texts tonight after nothing for 4days (his 4 days off! (I know it is his first night in tonight!) So f*cking predictable...yawn!!! Ya gotta lol though! ;)

I haven't answered :)

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (11 November 2011):

Miamine agony aunt* Miamine grabs pencil and pen to write down these very wise words.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (11 November 2011):

chigirl agony auntCursing is swearing, and swearing their ears off literally means I'll be yelling at them and making them feel like pathetic losers.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2011):

OP here, Thanks for all your replies :)

Chigirl what does cursing their ears off mean? lol! (slagging them off?)

Anonymous, I feel relief that I've 'seen the light' so to speak.

Bardia, I hope you find closure too, or you can successfully remain friends. (I know how you are feeling!)

Honeypie, I thought we were/could be 'real' friends, but I know now we can't, as it takes equal amounts of effort, and I feel this is onesided :-(

Thankyou everyone, I don't feel such an idiot anymore (maybe I was just too optimistic...sigh!!!!!!!);)

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (10 November 2011):

Honeypie agony auntMaybe up until now you got something out of the communication too? Or maybe you are getting to a point where you are over him?

Don't feel bad about it, just stop taking his calls/texts. Block his number.

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A female reader, bardia United States +, writes (10 November 2011):

bardia agony auntYeah. Time to break all ties with this one. I have been in a similar situation. I realized the problem a while ago, but I chose to put on blinders to it, hoping it wasn't true. I've since called him out on it. We'll see if it changes anything, but I'm not so sure...But yeah, these kinds of personalities are draining and unhealthy. He needs to get help and you need to just get away from the poison. It's too draining on you to keep this up. Good luck...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2011):

You are not an idiot.

I'm sure alot of people have been there at some point in their life.

At least you have realised now, so that's a good thing. In the past it has happened to me too, but I eventually realised she was a 'user' also, and just gradually stopped answering her messages, or replying with a short answer and usually with an excuse that I had to go, was going out etc!

Be glad you have realised and are free of them :)

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (10 November 2011):

chigirl agony auntSounds like you were just entertainment, yes. I haven't had this happen to me though, so can't relate. Usually after a break up, if an ex contacts me, I curse their ears off.

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