A
male
age
41-50,
*heeler
writes:Wow, what a long road it has been since I first found this website and posted my own question. I had my heart broken by the girl I really thought the world of. She had cheated on me.brbrI have come to terms with what happened, and am OKAY now! I have to say that first.brbrAlthough I have seen her around in some of the same bars we frequent, I have not spoken to her (besides maybe a "Hi"). We have not talked to each other at all. Of course, I also never got an explanation. And she ended up dating the guy that she cheated on me with.brbrThis past Saturday night, I saw her out. She was rather drunk, at her place of employment (she is a bartender, and had stayed after shift to drink with co-workers). She was at a table with many of the co-workers that had not only known me (and "liked me so much"), but had also participated in covering up her cheating.brbrAgain, I just waved at her as I was leaving. Before I had even gotten to my car, she had sent a text message saying, "That was quick, where did you go?" I don't know why, but that message made me mad and nervous (I guess that was the feeling) at the same time.brbrI told her I had just had a beer with a friend, and was leaving. She asked me to come back in and have a beer with her. God, I really didn't know how I felt about that. Does the fact that I had any feelings whatsoever mean I still was not completely over her? Because honestly, fuck her for cheating on me.brbrI ultimately decided to go back in and have a beer with her. And everyone acted like everything was cool. She sat next to me, and was being very flirty. Also, she lives about thirty minutes away, but when a friend asked her if she was okay to drive she said, "It's cool, I'm not going very far." I live two blocks from the bar, and she would usually say this when she was going to my house. Really, it probably meant nothing.brbrAbout thirty minutes later, my ex-girlfriend called me and said she was coming into town and asked me where I was. I told her, and intended on leaving the table before she got there. I am definitely not the type to throw things in an ex's face, no matter what happened.brbrProblem is, my ex-girlfriend was there in about a minute. And she was also tipsy. Now, she is a TEN. And she was wearing a mini-skirt and whatnot. She immediately sits down in my lap. The recent ex (cheating ex we shall call her) looked mortified. But she didn't leave the table or say anything.brbrWhen I told my cool ex that cheating ex was sitting RIGHT NEXT TO HER, she said, "I'll take care of that." She started making out with me, and put my hand between her legs. not completely, but close enough to make it obvious.brbrHere is my question. I am really trying to work through my own feelings on all of this. I am not involved with my cool ex in any way but as friends, and don't care to be anything more. But (and here is where I need the help of the most seasoned veterans), I was almost more worried about the feelings of my cheating ex! Why?! I didn't want her to have to see that. It isn't a game to me.brbrAnd even worse, I wonder if it is because some part of me still wants to try again with her (the recent cheating ex)? What. In. The. Hell. Also, I don't think she would have asked me to come sit at the table with her co-workers unless she was no longer with the guy she cheated on me with.brbrI would never bring a girl to the place where an ex works and do that, but it happened. Part of me wants to apologize to the cheating ex for having to see that right in her face. The other part of me says fuck her and who cares. And really I just wonder why any of it mattered to me anyway.brbrTo anyone who has taken time to read through this, thank you very much. I know there are a lot of questions on here, but it really would mean a lot to me to have some other opinions on this. In two days I will be with a group of friends at her work, and I am thinking about apologizing for here having that thrown in her face.brbrAny thoughts?
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cheated on me, co-worker, drunk, ex girlfriend, flirt, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Philips  +, writes (26 May 2011):
 DO NOT APOLOGIZE!!!!!
She needs to know that she can't get everything she wants...and she wants to use you again..
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (24 May 2011):
 What's up with the "br" stuff? Somebody explain it to this old lady.
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A
female
reader, Scarlett Love +, writes (24 May 2011):
Don't apologise. You don't need to. Maybe this is what was needed to balance things out a little. Just be your usual friendly self and let this be a fresh start for your interactions with cheating ex. I have a feeling that there is a fabulous third lady out there for you! Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Smileypants +, writes (24 May 2011):
 Don't apologize!! For all she knows, this is the hot ticket you've hooked up with since she cheated on you. I say if it makes her feel like crap, good!! Maybe she'll think twice before doing that again.
If I was you, I'd avoid "cheating ex". As far as im concerned, once a cheater...you know the rest. She sounds like the kind of chick that woud blame it on being drunk- fuck that. Isn't there another fun bar around?? Anyways, I think your hot ex is funny. I think the cheating ex deserved it. I know you said you don't want to rub her nose in her cheating, but I say why not?? Sure felt like you had your nose rubbed in it when you were cheated on, right??
But at this point, drop it now. Avoid cheating ex's bar. Meet new women and move on :o)
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A
male
reader, Drew21  +, writes (24 May 2011):
 I wouldn't apologize. I mean, what have you got to apologize for? You aren't dating her, right? If she got jealous or upset over what she saw, well that's her problem. She had her chance with you, and she blew it. You can't live your life worried about her when she has chosen to not be part of your life, right?
I would ask myself: Do you WANT to try again with cheating-ex? Are you the type of person who is able to give second chances? Would you be able to trust her?
If yes, then all this might actually play into your favour.
However, I would really do some soul-searching and decide if this cheating-ex is really worth a second shot. Make sure it's what YOU want to do and is what is right for you before you even consider it.
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