A
male
age
30-35,
*rax
writes:Simple to the point questions that are worrying me as i get closer to losing my virginity.1-Does size matter?2-What do I do?(stupid i know but im not too bright)3-What if I don't last very long?Those are some pretty stupid things to ask right? But they worry me... Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): Just a word about drinking before sex. A little alcohol will help you lose your inhibitions and nervousness. Too much alcohol and you never will get it up. When my wife and I go out to a nice dinner and are extra excited about sex when we get home, she is the one that drinks most of the bottle of wine. If she drinks too much, she has better orgasms. If I drink too much, forget the sex. This was even true when I was young.
A
male
reader, Dustin587 +, writes (23 October 2007):
 Yeah, I can relate to your problem. A few days ago, I had a great opportunity for oral sex, but I couldn't get it up! I did a great job (or I thought I did) of kissing and touching the right spots, but I couldn't get it up! She basically started undoing my clothing as she knew I wouldn't do it myself. Of course, I was in a car, behind my parent's house, with my pants down at 1 am and in an alley...maybe I had a right to be nervous. I hope I don't have the same problem when it comes to having sex or I'll be in trouble, lol. Damn, hormones make you do some crazy stuff. To think I used to criticize teenagers for making the same mistakes I do at 20 :P. That goodbye kiss lasted a lot longer than I thought it would.
Anyways, my point of posting this is to tell you being nervous about your inexperience is common. I still feel insecure about my experience. I guess being unable to get it up in the right time is also a sign of being nervous. For me, I felt like I had a knife running through the insides of my stomach...I guess I was trying to hold back my feelings and my muscles didn't like the idea.
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male
reader, Somethingeasy +, writes (23 October 2007):
 I know this may be rude trax, but you mean to tell me that you, your girl, and a bottle of Jack and you dont think about sex at all. Shoot me a girl and bottle of Jack has been awhole nights of drunken sex. Lmao.
Mabey your really not ready. Then again there is Viagra, and if that dont work then God wants you to be a virgin. ;p
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007): Hey, I'm Steph. As a girl, I will really honestly say size doesn't matter, to a certain point. Bigger than 3 inches is fine. Just make her feel comfortable. If shes happy and comfortable and doesn't feel awkward with you then you shouldn't have to do much.
If its your first time it doesnt matter if it doesnt last long. If she loves you she wont care. And if its her first time, then she won't know what to expect either so it doesnt really matter.
the more you do it the better it will become.
GOOD LUCK
xxxxx
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A
male
reader, Trax +, writes (22 October 2007):
Trax is verified as being by the original poster of the question haha somethingeasy, last time i drank and tried to have sex i didn't have any of those things on my mind but i still couldn't get it up
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male
reader, Somethingeasy +, writes (21 October 2007):
Yeah man cant help you there trax, mabey some alcohol or something to help relax.
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A
male
reader, Somethingeasy +, writes (21 October 2007):
You wont know what the hell your doing the first time except that you have this unworldly feeling of self fulfilment. But you will eventually get it. As long as your not hung like a hampster your fine.
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A
male
reader, Trax +, writes (21 October 2007):
Trax is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell my girl and i have tried having sex before but i just get too damn nervous and can't "get it up".
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2007): Size does not really matter - 5 to 6.5 inches long is considered the normal range. Anywhere in there will work fine. Outside that range, 4.5 is probably better than 7 or 8 for most women. Smaller and you will have to be careful not to fall out. Longer and you will have to be careful not to push too hard, which will poke her cervix and hurt her. Read this:
http://www.altpenis.com/penis_news/women_penis_size.shtml
What to do. First, take it slowly and see how she reacts to determine what she wants. If she has already told you that she wants sex, then you know where it is going to end. If she hasn't, then you will have to pay attention to her reactions along the way. OK, start by kissing her - lips, neck. Now it becomes more difficult. What have you done with her before? Where have you touched her before? Did she resist or did she like it? I would always unbutton a couple of buttons on her blouse, if she was wearing one with buttons. If you can get to it, kiss her tummy or sides. If she is enjoying it, at some time ask her if she wants to go to bed, but don't try that after 2 or 3 minutes. After 15 to 20 minutes of this you will begin to get an idea if she is getting excited. If she says STOP, then stop. Maybe try again after a few more dates. These are the kinds of things that I did with my first wife when I was 21 or 22. It was after knowing her for a few weeks. At first we kissed, later we fondled. We finally had sex. When I got divorced at 33 years of age, things went much faster with the also divorced women of the same age. I would try on the second date, unless they made it clear that they wanted sex on the first date.
I don't know how much different 20 something women are now then when I was young, but most every woman likes to be treated with respect and gentleness. Taking it too slow is better than going too fast. If she thinks you are going too slow, she may say something like, "Lets go into the bedroom." If you go too fast and give the impression that you expect sex then you may get nowhere. If you feel comfortable with it, you might want to give her some oral sex. Gently lick her down there. I can't remember too much about my early sex life, but I think I did that with my first wife the first time when we were dating. I know I did that with all of the women after my divorce and they loved it. Of course, so do I. It is a great turn-on for both partners.
Remember, it takes time to become a good lover. It won't happen your first few times. It may take years to become really great. Respect and tenderness will go a long way to counteract any lack of technique.
As far as not lasting very long - don't worry about. You may be so excited your first time that you won't last very long. Even after many years, you may occasionally not last long enough if you are really excited.
Be respectful, considerate, tender and try to read her reactions and you will both enjoy it. As you gain more experience over time, it will even get better.
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