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Questions about breaking up.....

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 August 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 August 2011)
A male Australia age 51-59, *aximus1 writes:

Girls, some questions, please...

1. Why/How when a relationship ends do you have the capacity to go on and flourish when I'm left in turmoil?

2. I am heartbroken - do girls like being chased by their ex lover (nothing bad happened) or would you prefer to be left alone.

3. If you take a break form a relaitonship ( which lasted ten months) how long should that break be, in your opinion, and how long before I initiate contact again?

View related questions: a break, heartbroken

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2011):

it depends on how and why the relationship ended. usually the one who does the leaving is in better shape emotionally because it was their choice to end the relationship. The one being dumped usually has a harder time dealing with it.

but I believe that once you've officially broken up, you stay away and don't chase her. If you chase her, well then what was the whole point of breaking up?? especially if she was the one who left you that obviously means she doesn't want to be with you so no point chasing after her.

if you're taking a break from a relationship, how long it should be depends on you both.

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A female reader, MissTellAll United States +, writes (4 August 2011):

MissTellAll agony aunt1. It depends on the relationship. Some relationships end and it's debilitating... other times it's like begin freed from a cage- insensitive, maybe, but that's how it feels.

2. Again, this depends. In my experience sticking around will only do emotional harm to one or both people involved. Let go.

3. 'Taking a break' is sometimes the cowardice way of saying 'we're breaking up'. It depends on how the relationship ended, why, etc...

If she broke up with you, I would wait until (or if!) she initiates contact. Don't wait around for her. If she doesn't want to talk, she doesn't want to talk. If she does, then cool, talk.

Hope this helps.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2011):

some answers...

1. Personally I have the capacity to flourish when I have broken up with someone who I wasnt really into and wasnt giving me what I needed in a relationship and it almost felt like a release!

2. I personally hate it when an ex starts chasing and contacting... I for one don't have contact with exs as I find it interferes with either a current relationship, or if I am single I just find it highly confusing and it gets in my way. Once I have left someone... I have left them for good.

3. If a relationship has actually needed a break, to me its almost in the bin already... it should only be for a couple of days in my opinion if its anymore than that... its definitely in the bin as I usually find that I am happier without the person I was with.

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