A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Question for the ladies: do you find that there's a lot of variation from one man to the next in terms of how good the sex is, or do the vast majority of men tend to fall roughly in the middle range?As a man, I'd have to say the old saying that "sex is like pizza -when it's good, it's good. And, when it's bad, it's still pretty good!" But, I find myself wondering if that's because it's relatively easy for a man to reach orgasm, so we're probably going to do that with almost every woman we're with. Granted, I want it more often if I'm extremely attracted to a woman, but the actual physical experience isn't that much different. I'm not saying it's exactly the same with all women, it's just that for me most of my orgasms are about the same, so there's not huge difference from one woman to the next in that respect.
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male
reader, BMWS  +, writes (5 April 2012):
Funily enough..as a man..I can't say there were marked differences in the women I have had sex with. I thinks its because sex is so phallocentric..we blokes are cocerned only on how we make our self feel, and how we make the woman respond, not on what she is doing to us. Its about our power to affect change, not about her performance. Different men come with different tool boxes, hence the variety for women I guess. lol
A
male
reader, alex74 +, writes (2 July 2011):
 Male Anon has some very valid points. I remember my college roommate stating that he suspected that Rosie O'Donnel's vagina wouldn't feel that much different from Madonna's. Most men are simple and extremely easy to please. Most of us feel lucky and appreciate ANY female sexual attention. Women however are a much tougher nut to crack. They are very complex and mysterious in an emotional, physical, and psychological manner.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2011): As a man I think that this truth is part of what makes us so jealous of other men who have been with you and insecure sometimes. I do think that most women are pretty much the same. Sex with some exceptional well recogized beautiful female isn't going to be too much different than sex with my wife.What really frustrates me is that women have a hard time articulating what turns them on. Often they don't know themselves. Witness these statements posted here:"Basically, they are both the same performance-wise, they both do same tricks, same positions" and yet "My ex rarely makes me climax, the current one can even give it to me multiple times.""the same thing may not work twice!""when its bad or ok i dont get into it and do what ever i can to make them hurry up and finish"I think if women want to be more satisfied sexually they need to take time to figure out their own bodies and what turns them on. Then they need to communicate that to their partners. Too many women play a passive role in sex, wanting their man to just sweep them off their feet and into ecstasy by making "all the right moves" without having to be told what those are. The reality is that guys have their preferences. I like rougher, harder sex. A girl that's into that would probably get off and describe me as incredible. A girl that's not would not and would call me a bad lover. When I am with a girl the first time I am going to do it my way. I mean, I pay attention to her body language and all, but absent any other guidance I am going to do what gets me off and hope she's into it. If she's not, then she's going to have to articulate what it is that she wants and maybe it's something I can't give her. (I won't do certain things, for instance.)If you want better sex, play an active role in making it happen, because us guys are going to have fun and get off regardless. I don't want to say we don't care, but we care about as much as you do. If you want it over with quickly I am happy to oblige. If you find yourself unsatisfied and needing more, figure out what that is and tell me. Figuring out what gets a woman off is an interesting puzzle only maybe the first few times you are with her. After that, it is frustrating for both partners.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (1 July 2011):
 There is a huge difference from one man to the other. It's not measured in orgasms, as I barely if ever at all experience an orgasm with a man. It's the feeling of it, his smell, his kisses, the way he touches you, the way he looks at you. The way he moves, how he feels inside you, but the entire package really. How intriguing is he, how does he lead up to sex, how does he turn you on, where will he touch you and how firm will he touch you, what are his interests in sex, as they vary a lot! Some are classics, some are adventurous, some like to impress, others are consumed my pleasure. There are so many differences!
And then again, yes, some sex is just bad sex without much pleasure in it, but some sex is mind blowing and amazing. It's not all pizza to me for sure. Some sex barely gives you what you need, like bread and water. Some sex isn't what you need at all, but so exciting, like a fancy desert you can't figure out how to eat because of it's complexity. A man can show up with a whole range of meals, from 7 course dinners with dessert, to having a simple snack one day. Some men stick to the same pizza every day in and out...
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (1 July 2011):
 Speaking from my experience (which would probably be classified as 'monumental') yes, different men perform diffrently. I don't have the time to write a treatise on the "7 types of men you will have sex with" at the moment, but let's say that while I can make some broad categorisations, men ARE different from one another - or why else would one want to be with so many?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (1 July 2011):
 Yes, I think your guess is correct - apparently a man never gets a really bad deal out of sex. Orgasm is pretty much a given, and if all the rest was boring or disappointing , at least you had your happy ending.
For a woman is different , I guess. There are unbelievable differences between a sexual partner and the next, and the spectrum can go from " as entertaining as watching paint dry " to " the most wonderful thing I ever experienced in my life ".
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2011): Women will probably answer this question in variation too. It depends on what the woman is looking for and that's how she will rate her partner's performance.
As for me, I don't do it with someone I don't love and am not committed to, so that makes it the reason why I only had done it with 2 guys so far. Basically, they are both the same performance-wise, they both do same tricks, same positions. So I guess it's not them, it's me. But I can say that my bf right now has made me reach the big O much much more than my ex. That remains a mystery to myself actually. My ex rarely makes me climax, the current one can even give it to me multiple times. And to think the ex has the bigger one.
Does that mean I love my bf more than I love my ex when I was with him? I don't know. Maybe.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2011):
Every partner is different, if you take time to get to know them then sex gets better - IF the initial attractions there in the first place
A one night stand can be exciting and fun but its like a cup of tea, just quenches the thirst, its not emotional, best avoided, by women anyway
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2011): Ive been with 7 including my now fiancee and i have to say one was bad 3 were kinda eh ok sort of one was very good and the other 2 were amazing they actually made me orgasm and not many men can. But what ive learned is when its bad or ok i dont get into it and do what ever i can to make them hurry up and finnish but when its good i dont want it to end.
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female
reader, a_maldita  +, writes (1 July 2011):
 Ive only been with one man so pretty much I can't compare with others on how were they...But sex is good especially when you are very mush in love with that person...
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2011): For me personally there is a huge variation. I am only 23, and have only had intercourse with 5 men. But of those, no two were the same. But it depends on the emotional connection and what you want from the sex as well, which makes up so much of the experience.
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