A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I’d like to know, what its like for guys who settled down and married after having a several different women in there beds? Is it easier knowing you got to have your wild days before making a lifetime commitment?What about guys who married their first or second girl? Do you have a stronger bond to your wife or do you regret that you never got to sew your wild oats. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): I think that it depends on the individual and also on what ones partner has done. I agree with Birdy that 2 people who have only had sex with each other will most likely be perfectly happy not knowing what other sexual partners would have been like. I think that the problem begins when one partner has had much more experience than the other and then the one with much less experience will begin to wonder what they missed out on.
My first wife and I were both our firsts and we got divorced after 11 years, but not because of past sexual experience. My current wife and I had several partners and we are together after 29 years.
I think that there can be some advantages with having several partners. If your current partner is the best that you have ever had then you will be less likely to want to leave if there is a period when there are problems in the marriage. I think that is what kept my wife and me from ever thinking about cheating or leaving when we had a rough period about 15 years ago. We both knew that the other was the best that we had ever had, even with the problems and even though both of us dated some nice people. I’m not talking just sexually, but in all aspects of the relationship. Of course, it is possible to go overboard, like a lot of one night stands. I think there is a limit to what is proper and beneficial to some future relationship or to knowing what you want in a partner. Jumping into bed with anybody that you meet is just promiscuous and probably harmful, but having several relationships can be very beneficial.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (30 September 2008):
 Well, if you don't mind a woman answering as well, I'm glad that my husband and myself have only been with each other. It makes me feel special, knowing that we are exclusively each others and that we haven't belonged to anyone else. My husband has repeated this sentiment to me as well.
...............................
|
