A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a question. My girlfriend just found out she is pregnant and we can't keep the baby. Basically she has to decide whether to get an abortion or give the baby up for adoption. I was just wondering what the pros and cons were for each option. Thanks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009): aye no how you feel, me and my ex is the same way as you, im pregnant and i can not keep the baby, honest to god man when you are still young getting rid of it is the best thing but it is hard at the same time
A
female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (12 February 2009):
 Please see another posting today : "I'm pregnant and do not want children. Do I abort it or put it up for adoption?" or this link -- http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-pregnant-and-do-not-want-children-do.html Cat
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A
female
reader, Firefighter's Wife 09 +, writes (12 February 2009):
I am totally pro choice! As long as, there is a sensible explanation for the choice!
If you used all the contraception in the world and still ended up being pregnant, not you your girlfriend, then you can think about the choice you want to make. If you don't have the money or ability to care for the baby there is a choice.
Think about this though... At 5 weeks pregnant, the baby has a heart beat.
I am personally going through the anxiety and stress of being pregnant. It was a planned pregnancy but I have been scared the whole time. As soon as I found out, even though I wasn't exactly excited yet, I was already attached.
Just think, you and your Girlfriend made a conscious decision to have sex knowing the risks associated with it. You do have a responsibility to that baby! Yea its a baby alright. Give him or her a chance to live, grow up and maybe one day become president! Who knows! I think in this situation you can go either way, just remember you made the baby.
Abortion can carry many risks for her it can cause severe damage to the uterus and many other things. There is a slight risk she will not be able to have any other children and if she does get pregnant again she has a higher chance of miscarriage. But, you won't have to worry about getting too attached and tied down to something you two can't handle.
Adoption is another option. It is an amazing thing to be able to birth a child and then be able to give that child to a family that deserves it and can take care of it better than you could have ever imagined! Along with adoption, you can have an open adoption. It allows the birth parents to still be a part of the childs life! You would receive letters and pictures and as the child grows older some adoptive parents allow the birth parents to be around the kiddo if you want!
I don't know if you are religious and I will never preach to anyone! But pray! To whomever you want to pray to. They will hear you and you will find an answer.just don't take too long to decide. Talk to her and both of your parents. It will be easier to go through this with the ones that love you guys!
Whatever the choice is stick with it and have no regrets! You will do what you need to do and you can't spend the rest of your life wondering what if.
I might not sound pro choice but in the right situation I am. Just take responsibility for your actions! You might even be able to find support groups online to talk to people that have gone through adoption and abortion. It might help you with your decision!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, alohanikkiii +, writes (12 February 2009):
Well, if she has an abortion, the pros are that she doesn't have to go through the entire pregnancy and become attached to the baby knowing that she will have to give he or she up. The major con is that many women feel guilty that they killed a life with having an abortion.Adoption: A pro is that you know that the baby is being given to someone that can care for him or her, so you're doing as much for the baby as you possibly can. I think the con is what I listed as the pro for abortion because your girlfriend and you are going to become attached to the life inside her. But you're going to want to be detached since it won't be your child when you give it to another family.Good luck.
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