A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am coming forward seeking an opinion on a live in relationship that I am currently involved in. For about the last six months I have been witnessing some behaviours that are hard to work with and around. My boyfriend does not want to do anything with me and weekend after weekend wants to only watch televison and be on the computer. I ask each weekend if we can spend some quality time together and he flat out says no each and every weekend. Lately, he doesn't even text me anymore when at work but instead has come home recently with nude photos of women on his phone that he and his buddies exchange. When I ask why he doesn't say hello anymore at work he says that he is too busy. For obvious reasons this hurts. I am exposed to more and more anger as each week goes by and I feel that I am about to loose my mind. Any time I try to address any of this he gets angry at me and yells and slams doors and stuff. He tells me it is me that is making him do this. If he wants to be intimate his approach is to say "Suck my cock". When I try to tell him that it is a very unappealing approach he blows it off and says that he never even had to ask other women, they would just do it. Just wondering what this sounds like to an outsider. It doesn't feel good to me at all. Thanks for your time.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (22 February 2010):
This man is a selfish pig. And you can do better. So please go and do better with another guy.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010): He is treating you in a way that shows pure disregard to your person and your feelings. He is blaming you for his treatment of you because you have shown interest in someone else perhaps and he does not know to talk to you about this break in the relationship force. He only knows that he is somewhat aware of the bad vibes but that there is no proof that you are emotionally reaching to someone else for emotional nourishment. This is probably a sign of his controlling behavior if this is not really what you are doing.
I think the way he uses his power to debase you when he demands intimacy FROM YOU is deplorable. You should not comply to such a crude request. You should DEMAND to be respected. Anyone that spoke to you in such a manner is telling you that you are a mere chattel and that you are insignificant. If he had other women that cratered to sexually fulfill him then why is he with you? Surely, you must offer something those other women did not or it is just a ruse to get you to comply to his controlling manipulations of your being.
Personally, if I were you, I would high-tail it out of that miserable relationship. Find someone that you can respect and that will respect you.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (22 February 2010):
 He is unloving, inconsiderate, selfish and has become a vegetable.
If he does not do what you want , you can stop doing things for him .
Go out more often with your friends or dates and only comeback late at night to sleep.
If this fails, consider going separate ways.
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A
female
reader, Hard_decision  +, writes (22 February 2010):
Wow - sounds like you have a very ungreatful asshole of a boyfriend. He only thinks of himself and doesnt seem like he puts in ANY EFFORT into your relationship and to show you that you are loved by him. Id say try and have a mature conversation with him about how you feel and what you would like for him to contribute into the relationship. If he still throws a hissy fit and yells and slams things, then get out of it...leave him. Its sad that most people never realize what they have until its gone... put yourself first hun, by the sounds of it he doesnt deserve your love.
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A
female
reader, cait88 +, writes (22 February 2010):
first thing he sounds like a total asshole .. if any guys says suck my cock...in the way he did.. is totally rude and not worth your time. personally If you have tried talking to him about how you feel and everything and he still comes to the same conclusion and get angry,try and move on. Hes totally taking you for granted.maybe instead of planning qaulity time just do it..if hes watching the game or something ..grab some popcorn and sit and watch with him.. show more intrest and ask questions. If you still come to the same situation you are in now. Leave it and find someone who is worth your time
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