A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm a 20 year old gay man and I recently had sex for the first time. I've found that it's really hard for me to stay hard when I use a condom because it feels really uncomfortable on my penis. What should I do? Does anyone else have this issue? Is it really the condom or could it be other factors? I'm not really the "hookup" time but I made an exception and decided to live a little but I didn't really feel anything emotionally towards the guy. And I think that's really important to me during sex. So it was really hard for me to stay hard in the condom and it took me a while to cum. Is it really the condom or the fact that it was my first time and I had no emotional connection with the guy? What do you guys think? Please give me any advice/tips possible. Thank you!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 March 2015):
 Condoms are important. IF it's uncomfortable it's possible it's too small. Try the Magnum XLs and see if they feel better.
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (2 March 2015):
I completely agree that using a condom was smart, well done. I don’t think you were ready for it. If you take all emotion out of it, you put so much pressure on yourself. If it’s not about sharing a connection but it’s just about sex for the sake of sex, how well you perform becomes the all-important thing and all that matters. We get lots of stories about people losing their erection, not just from gay people like yourself. It goes something like this: decided to have a one night stand, failed to rise to the occasion and now really confused as to why.
IT’s because, for some people, they’re just not comfortable with sex with no strings. They might think they are, but the stress and pressure is too much and they don’t maintain the erection.
I think you need to try not to worry about this. It wasn’t right for you, first times are often quite disappointing anyway, and he probably didn’t have that much interest in supporting you through it, if it were just about the sex for him too. Start by looking for a relationship and developing a connection first, and that will help you communicate better, and have better sex, with the next partner.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 March 2015):
 I think using a condom was SUPER smart, even if it could be a factor in your problems with keeping an erection.
It's hard to say which factor made it difficult for you to stay erect, but USING common sense SHOULD always be a priority. So KEEP using condoms. Maybe next time wait with sex till you actually WANT to be with THAT guy, not just well, he is there and willing - let's do it...
Also guy buy some different type condoms, see what FEELS BEST on your penis. Not all condoms are a good fit, but ACCEPT that there is NO such thing as "too small" condoms. As you can FIT a foot in there. If a FOOT can fit, SO can your penis. Any penis.
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