A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I had this funny curious episode. A guy added me on facebook. As a rule I don't accept friend request from strangers and he was not my type but I chatted a bit and I liked him. Then after reading his profile and finding him to be a regular guy I accepted his request in say about 20-21 days time, then he asked me my email ID and we chatted on msn quite a bit. He used to be flirty and interested, to my surprise he turned out to be my ideal kinda guy, the kind I could take clubbing, take home, get married to and have kids. So far so good... but nonetheless I'm a bit vary of people we meet on the net.Four months after I accepted him I gave him my number, when I could refuse him no more. We spoke for 1.5 hours and mutually accepted that we liked each other. Now he insisted for my picture and I suggested that we rather meet up in due time since I was still not comfortable giving him my picture. When he put the phone down he said a very strange thing which was first and only inconsistent thing in his behaviour till then.He said that since he was a very busy guy I will have to take the initiative to call him or text him and he'll call me back. I gave a non commital answer as I expected him to call if I didn't.. you see if a guy likes a gal.. has her number.. he'll call her sooner or later.At least that's what I believed. I was wrong. He didn't and I didn't either.Then in next two weeks he got committed on facebook with his classmate whose pics with him dating last year were already on his profile.I chose not to react as we were not actually dating n no promises were made.. though it was some heavy flirting on his part and i was hurting from having to loose a potential mate..i decided to be jus good frens with him.next week he found me and added himself as friend on another such site as facebook. I accepted his request. The next week he deleted me from both his accounts except from msn chat.Why??? This has hurt me more than his getting commited. He actively pursued me..got me..then got someone else..n deleted me for no reason....so far its been 3 weeks i have not reacted..but i deleted him from chat last weekguys pls pls pretty pls help me..if i have done some mistake..i dont want to ever repeat it again..it has taken me 25yrs to find my mr.perfect..n loosing him is scary..should i query him about it..i want to know why?? why me??
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male
reader, Griffo +, writes (14 January 2009):
 I think that you should have called him when he gave you the signal. It's not always up to the guy to do the chasing. Heaps of girls have the initiative to take action if they REALLY want to be with that guy. He most likely would have seen it "oh well, after all that and she never called me" So he most likley let you go and after a given time moved on.
About deleting you from FB and other social networking sites, well he's probably a bit hurt in side (he wont admit) but I bet he is, mabey even angry with himself. and/or; he has already been snapped up by another lady who was persuing him way more than you.
Another thing, is I know heaps of guys and girls that do this next trick in the hopes it brings them together. Its pretty distructive if it dosent work and ive had many conversations about it. sometimes it works sometimes (in this case it doesn't). You see, a guy or a girl will persue somone untill they feel that somthing could grow or there is a good connection. Then the persuer completley cuts it off withought any reason. In the HOPE you chase him back. its simply the chasing game and you did'nt chase him back, thats all.
Anyway, its been three weeks now and I think you should give him one try and call him and just say "Hey so what happened to you?" If he doesnt pick up try one more time about three days later and thats it! After that forget him forever.
To conclude this if nothing happens after the calls id let it go and move on. Don't beat yourself up about it. Internet communication is the worst and its very unrealistic, chances are it might not have worked out for many reasons anyway. Things like: attractiveness, hygiene, habit, financial and social reasons, which are not really present on the internet. When you meet a person in real life you get a pretty good picture of everything almost instantly.
I wish you the best and let us know how you go ;)
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (14 January 2009):
 What I am thinking happened here is that you had been talking and flirting for several months and he probably thought that things were going well. When he finally asked you for a picture and you denied him, he probably thought that you weren't really serious at all and perhaps were playing him.
He may have also viewed your refusal for giving him a picture as a non trusting issue. Then again, he may have viewed this as a way of putting him off. Put yourself in his place and perhaps you will see the difference in how you would have felt at a time like this. If he really liked you but felt it was a lost cause,of course the most likely thing to happen is exactally what did. He moved on!
I understand wanting to be safe when meeting people who you have only had conversations with on the phone or by internet messaging and emails. I hope you know that your phone number can be traced directly to your house. A picture of you didn't seem to much of an odd request considering the lenght of time and the amount of time you have known and conversed with this man.
I am thinking he added you from another site because he perhaps was single again, or he still likes you. The reason he decided to delete you from both was most likely because you gave him no inclination that the relationshp would continue to grow in the manner of which he wanted. Chances are he just wanted to know more about you, including what you look like so he could evaluate his physical attraction for you as well as the feeling of attraction he had from your talks and messages.
I do caution you to always be careful, it does seem like you took a bit of time in giving him the phone number,which is a good idea. The Picture however, you would be surprised how many people will give you a fake picture, just so you can see who they really are. The fact is that alot of times the pictures and the feelings and sentiment the project are not factual or real. In this case you may never know. If you did you best to show him kindness, attention,thoughtful consideration, respect and any love he will be certain to remember.
Don't waste your time worrying over it. If he cares enough, he will most likely seek you out on his own. However it will be in his own time and you will then have to choose what to do from there on out. Remember that people enter our lives for a reason. They will come and go for always with some staying and others that will move on. Know that when one door closes, another one opens and that whatever is meant to be surely will.
Do what your life leads you to WITHIN GOD'S WILL.....you never know to whose door you WILL BE DIRECTED TO........
Into whose life your path WILL CROSS........Be HAPPY for knowing him and CONTENT THAT YOU WERE HIS FRIEND. LET YOUR UNTIMATE GOAL BE TO LEARN WHERE TO GO FROM HERE. SOMETIMES GOING BACK LEAVES US WITH NO CHANCE TO GO ANYWHERE ELSE.....YOU CAN'T LIVE IN THE PAST. LET HIM GO AND WORK ON YOUR FUTURE.......YOU NEVER KNOW WHERE IT MAY LEAD YOU.....IF EVEN STRAIGHT TO THE DOOR OF HIS HEART.
BEST WISHES AND BE SAFE!
God bless,
Blue)Angel
^(**)^
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