A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am pregnant and have a 9 month old with my fiance. He is emotionally and mentally abusive, gives me hell, won't help around the house, etc most of the time. Although he has his sweet days... he blames his anguish on his job ( he is a corrections officer) as well as on me. We have been together for 4 years and he is my ONLY support system. I'm forced to live in an area where he grew up so I have no family or friends. His family hates me because he claims they are racist but I've also found out that he lies to everyone about our relationship.. telling everyone that I "force him to be with me"... why? Because I also recently found out he is still married!! He has been getting away without being caught because he lives alone although we share a lease... he just claims that since we can't have pets he isn't ready to move in and leave his dog behind! Also his supposed marriage is childless and he claims that she just refuses to divorce him... although I hear the opposite. What should I do?? I have nowhere else to go.
View related questions:
divorce, fiance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (18 October 2010):
 If you don't have transportation, contact the local battered womens' shelter and have them send someone out to get you.
A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (18 October 2010):
Take the child, find a battered womens' shelter, file for child support, and serve the papers on him at his wife's home.
Then leave town.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI should have mentioned that we're in a small town and I have no transportation whatsoever ... my lease on my car ended so I had to give it back and he swore to get me another car. That was almost 3 months ago and since then I have to rely on him to even leave the house since nothing is within walking distance. He gives me hell every time I have something to do, appointments to go to, etc. because I "abuse and use him as a taxi"... I wish I could get a car on my own but being unemployed no one would even consider me for a loan. Can't work without transportation to get me there..... as for my family, I'm an only child and my parents refuse to help.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): Omg I was in the exact same situation 5 yrs ago I just goy out 1 year ago. U need to start working save money on the side and get out who cares where u live like u said u have nobody right now so u have nothing to lose by leaving. I regret not leaving along time ago. I'm sure u have atleast 1 person to go to. Don't be embaresses I know that's prob what your thinking its not u that should be embaressed it should be him!! Get out then file for child support. It gets worst w/an abusive man the more kids u have w/him the more he thinks he has control over u. U need to stand up for yourself or get the hell out of there NOW!!
...............................
A
female
reader, absynthe  +, writes (18 October 2010):
 get out of there chick. there are organisations that help with domestic abuse, go to citizens advice, police station, anywhere, are you still in contact with any of your family and friends, call them, when he goes to work , pack a few things up and leave him, its not good for you to be under that stress while pregnant, or good for the other child or emotional development. he is controling and munipulative and thats no-place to bring up kids, you dont want them the same way.
do what is best for your kids and yourself, it may be hard but worth it .
...............................
|
