A
female
age
30-35,
*rappedgirl89
writes:I am not sure what to do! This past Friday I found out that I am pregnant with my boyfriends second child. He does have a boy from another woman, so we have two children to take care of and now another. I have not told my boyfriend yet and as crazy as this sounds I have been pretending to get my period so he doesn't suspect anything...I never thought it would ever come to this. I don't have many feelings for him and if I could have financially left I would have been gone a year ago. I am the only one working my butt off just to provide for the kids and make sure our bills are paid. My boyfriend cannot seem to keep a job to save his life and the pathetic thing is he is going to be 29 this year! To top this off I think he tried intentionally to get me pregnant. After our daughter was born 15 months ago I made it pretty clear that I didn't want any other children for a while; by while I meant like maybe 5-7 years (secretly I really didn't want anymore with him). I am only going to be 24 this year; I have plans to go back to school and not raise another child with this guy I seem to have so many problems with (most not stated here). I cannot afford another child nor do I have room for one and I cannot afford a bigger apartment right now. I know what my options are and I am considering all of them but I don't think I could "get rid of it" and I deffinatly cannot give a baby I carried for nine months up for adoption. Please please give me some advice! I'd really appreciate it.
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (25 March 2013):
 How on earth can a man intentionally get you pregnant? You are the one allowing him to have unprotected sex with you! Use birth control, then no man can impregnate you!
Anyway, that aside - if you dont want an abortion or to give the child up for adoption, you only have 1 other option: Keep the baby. Personally I think an abortion would be best for you, you dont have the money or space for another child, and you want to go back to school so you really dont have room for another child in your life. Having a child with someone you dont want to be with is such a bad idea, it is pretty irresponsible to bring a child into the world when the parents are in an unstable relationship and potentially will be breaking up in the near future.
But if you are against abortion, there is no point in getting rid of it. You will only feel guilty and will regret it, and living with that kind of regret is a terrible thing to have to live with.
So you by default have to keep the child. Tell your boyfriend that you are pregnant, and tell him that he has to get a job otherwise you will leave him. Tell him that financially you cannot afford this child, and that you are actually very upset to be pregnant, so you need him to step up and be a man. He has to provide for your family, with 3 kids he needs a stable job otherwise the children will suffer.
I'm sorry you are in this situation, it must be really tough - but you have to use birth control or not have sex if you dont want children. It sounds like your only option is to keep the child, so your boyfriend needs to step up and be a man, so make sure you sit down and talk to him and make him really understand how serious this is.
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