A
female
age
30-35,
*smith21
writes:OK.. here goes.. me and my husband split up for 3 months, and during those 3 months we both slept with other people (we honestly didn't think we were getting back together).. we have 3 kids together.. a set of twins who are 2 and an 11 month old.. and i just found out about a month ago that i was pregnant again.. and i am doubting that it is my husbands.. because i slept with another man on may 26th, 2010, and he came in me, and then that saturday (may 29th, 2010) me and my husband decided to try and work things out after being apart for 3 months..then on june 1st 2010, i started my period, and i also slept with my husband that same day.. i had a short 3 day period, that was moderate in flow..then june 28th 2010 rolls around, and i get the feeling im pregnant, i took a test and yep i was for sure pregnant.. so there is a 3 day period between when me and my husband slept together and when i slept with the other guy, and i have the feeling that its not my husbands due to the timeing of everything.. when i had my first ob appointment it said i was 5 weeks and 5 days, right now i am 10 weeks and 1 day.. and im due march 8th.. i told my husband about everything, and he said if its not his he's not taking care of it and when its born hes getting a paternity test (which is understandable) and i also told the other guy there is a possibility that it may be his baby to.. and it will be his first baby.. and everyone is telling me not to tell the other guy, but i cant do that to someone espeacially it being his first baby (if its his) but on the other hand my husband said he would leave me if the other guy was in the picture at all period, but if my husband's not going to take care of the baby, and the other guy says dont take me to court for child support ill take care of it, which sounds to me hell take care of it when he feels like it, what am i supose to do!! and who do you think the father is..I looked on the internet and it said i ovulated anywhere from the 11th to the 15th.. if the 15th is when i ovulated the june 1st is when i conceived,(and it would be my husbands) but that was the day i started my period, and its really hard to get pregnant on your period.. then if i ovulated the 12th then the 29th of may is when i conceived (and again it would be my husbands) but both of those days dont add up to how far along i am.. thats whats leading me to believe its not my husbands.. sorry so long but please help!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010): Please... educate yourself about all the different kinds of birth control available to you. A condom, at the very least, prevents the egg and sperm from getting together-- if there is no fertilized egg, there can be no abortion. What about the rhythm method, or learning to take your temperature to find out when you're ovulating? Ask any Catholic organization for that information. Even pro-life groups should have that information.
Have you considered an open adoption for your baby? You can still stay in touch with the child while another couple raises him/her. Again, a prolife group in your area may help.
If you're getting through an abusive relationship your best course may be to try abstinence for awhile-- at least until you're really ready to have another baby.
A
female
reader, csmith21 +, writes (15 August 2010):
csmith21 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe only bad thing is that i would never beable to give my baby up for adoption.Its not the babies fault for my stupidity. And i believe if im big enough to lay down and have unprotected sex, then im big enough to take care of a baby (regardless if its my husbands or not). And i also dont believe in birth control i believe its a form of abortion. So it didnt help i wasnt on birth control either.
And if neither of them want anything to do with the baby (if its not my husbands)then ill just take care of my kids by myself. My kids come first before any man. And also, im kindof in a abusive relationship anyways, and im still trying to find the strength to leave. Im tired of seeing my kids suffer. Because in actuality, me and my husband dont get along and never have, all we do is scream and yell all the time at each other. And i dont want my kids to grow up like i did. I was beat and so was my brother and mom by my real dad and all my parents did was argue, so i dont want my kids to go through that. (well they dont go through the beating part). But anywho, i have already told the other guy it might be his to. I told him as soon as i found out. I couldnt keep that from him, hes 26 and it would be his first baby. But i wouldnt want my baby around him anyways because i didnt know he does all kind of drugs. And so i wouldnt want my baby around that anyways. He talked to me for a couple days after i told him, and i havent heard from him since. So, more than likely he doesnt care, and neither do i. It would be better for the baby not to have a drugatict father anyways. And also my kids dont need to be around the negativity and yelling and arguing all the time either.
God i have screwed up! Im so ashamed of myself!
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A
male
reader, Dalmatian +, writes (15 August 2010):
The baby is the important thing now. Take good care of yourself. Please consider adoption if the baby is not your hisbands. It can be an open adoption where you may have some contact over the years. This would save your marriage and provide very well for the child. Do not tell the other man. He never needs to know.
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