A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm pregnant and very depressed. Its very hard for anyone to understand what I'm going through. I already have a 17 year old son which I raised alone which was damn hard and now I'm pregnant again and I'm alone again. I'm starting all over again which depresses me so much. I think I should get an abortion but I feel its so wrong. Will I have regrets? Yes I believe I will but I'm not sure what else can be done.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2010): What did you decide? Please update us.
A
female
reader, TheQueen.  +, writes (15 January 2010):
 why would you abort?, if your alone wouldnt a child bring more happiness and meaning to your life? bringing a man into your life could only complicate your life more, especially for the 17 year old.Enjoy your children...why bring another man into the picture!best of luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009): Have you thought about giving the baby up for adoption? That way you won't have an abortion to regret, and the innocent child will get a better life. Or just get it's life, period.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009): It's only up to you. I've been there and it's hard. You'll make the right choice for yourself. and that is all you can do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009): This is not an easy situation. Yes, you will have regrets. Yes, it will be painful. No, abortion is NEVER easy for ANYONE. But it's available for a reason. You have to ask yourself if you can keep yourself healthy enough to give this child a chance at a good life. If you think the depression & loneliness & financial strain & stress is too much for you, then it's not about what YOU want or what YOU might feel afterwards....it's about what is healthy for a child. Can you live with the regret of an abortion? Can you live with the regret of bringing an unhealthy child into the world?
Like I said, not an easy situation, but you really have to make a decision & make it soon.
I'm currently 7 months pregnant. I thought I had decided on an abortion because I knew that I can't provide for this child, but I kept putting it off. When he started kicking me, I couldn't go through with it & now I'm broke, unemployed, and completely stressed out & unsure about everything. I really wish I hadn't procrastinated so much.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009): I do not like abortion at all. But I hate to see un-loved and an cared for children even worse. It angers me on a very very deep level as it does most decent human beings.
Pregnancy is largely a choice in this day and age. Rarely is there such a thing as an "accident" anymore because of all the forms of contraception available. This is not meant to dam you for becoming pregnant but more a wake up call as to your level of responsibility in your actions.
I will not play God here and advise you one way or the other. What I will say is that you are being given a very big 'wake up call' and I hope you make some changes in your life.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009): You ask about regretting an abortion as if you might not regret any of your other choices.
but you already seem to regret having the last child, or at least regret that the pregnancy ever happened 18 years ago. Either way you are going to be unhappy with some aspect of your choice now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009): Hello. Why are you so depressed? Is it because of being pregnant? Did you not understand about contraception? If you think you will have regrets if you terminate your child then dont do it. Once its done theres no going back. Youve already raised one child alone so you know you can do that. It might be easier than living with the thought that you aborted a baby. You should go to your doctor and talk to him or her about your depression and get that under control before you make any decisions. A counsellor might also help. All the best x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009): You are not alone this time though. You have a 17 year old who will make a wonderful sibling, and also be of great help around the house, be a baby sitter and help raise the child.
If you are at all loss, talk to your son about it. Talk about the changes you'll have to make, and include him. This will affect him too, and the new baby will be a part of his closet family. Of course he needs to be included, and of course he NEEDS to take his part in the family and pitch in. Children need to be taught responsibility, and at 17 he is more than old enough to take some responsibility and help you out.
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (14 December 2009):
Its all about weighing your options, do you have a job and a home? I hear health care and child care are very good in Canada. At your age you may also never have another chance at having a child.
Just write up a list of the good reasons to abort and the bad reasons. If you already feel bad about it now, it will not feel any better after. While I feel a woman's choice is a personal thing, they grow so fast and in a short period you wonder why you had worried about it. I understand how hard it is as a single parent myself but I personally dont regret having mine. No one can make the choice for you. Think it through very carefully, it might end up being a blessing. That child could be a scientist or a president Obama or something and the temporary pain and hardship of having the child will not last forever. Abortion means that the problem is solved immediately but it does not guarantee your peace of mind. Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009): as i matured i have come to believe that a mother can give the best gift to her unborn by ABORTING. when you are so conflicted, when you know the burdens you will be facing alone and when you question a pregnancy, then act on this and make the adult, responsible decision to terminate.
i have more respect for women who choose to terminate rather than let them bring innocent lives into their messed up situations. i have more respect for women who are honest enough to say " i am not ready for this one". this is the greatest gift a mother can give her unborn. when i talk of a "gift" i am talking about a decision.
yes yuor emotions are running all over the place but you are realistic enough to ponder termination. iread of a number of women who choose to have their babies but end up abusing these kids mentally, physically and emotionally.
there is nothing wrong in terminating. yes the emotions are strong but i say, do the responsible thing and make peace with it. it will be more wrong to bring an innocent into this world knowing that it was unwanted in the 1st place.
love yourself enough to give yourself a chance. its ok to terminate and it is ok to feel a loss somewhat. but make a decision that will impact positively in your life in the long run.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (14 December 2009):
I'm sure it is very hard for you, but the one thing that can be said is that you've raised a child alone once, so you can do it again. I think perhaps your depression mixed with the feeling of pregnancy might be causing you a lot of pain, and you should really talk to someone about it. A few people keep a baby, then regret it, but a lot more abort and really regret it. I'm not sure abortion is the answer for you, at least without talking to someone about how you feel, because I think it will make you more confused and hurt. I think you need to sit down with a therapist and talk about it. Take your time making your decision. Either way it will change your life, but you don't want to make a sudden decision without talking about it only to regret it later.
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A
male
reader, Flashbacks  +, writes (14 December 2009):
I think it's time for some reality here. You say you have a 17 year old son that you had to raise alone. You can chalk that one up to being young, not knowing the ways of the world, etc. I'm sure it was extremely difficult for you to raise your son as a single mom. The thing that puzzles me is that you seemingly didn't learn from that mistake 17 years ago, and you got pregnant again from some shmuck who doesn't want to be with you. It doesn't make sense why you would put yourself in that situation again, knowing how it changed your life when you were young. It's not the baby's fault that he/she was created, and he/she didn't ask to be born. Why should he/she have to pay for adult mistakes? We all make mistakes, and the goal is to learn from them. But, for crying out loud, I just can't have much sympathy for someone who makes the mistake again after going through it once.
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