A
female
age
36-40,
*ichele21
writes:where do i begin...ok im 22yrs old and i have a girlfriend i've been with off and on for 3yrs now whom i love with all my heart she is my sunshine she does anything in the world for me...meanwhile we went out one night and she is a big people person like me so when we get to drinking we love to mingle and conversate with new people we are both new to the area so trying to get to know people.....well we meet this guy and his dad one night....they were really cool people the son was my age and puerto rican which i was very attracted to but i was committed i've hurt my woman in the past just didn't wanna do it again....meanwhile they exchanged numbers and myspace accounts i didn't just my girlfriend and the guy well he found me i guess through her page and sent me a friend request...i accepted it and we just talked at friends for awhile got to know a little bit about each other....he respected our realtionship 100% but as for me i was just so attracted to him and his personality he was a good person....so i kept pushing the issue to hang out and what not....well he gave me his number and i hesitated to call for about a week...than me and my girlfriend were soing through rough times so i said what the heck might as well right so i started texting him then i started to call him...ended up he met up with me that night and we had some drinks and i felt this crazy connection with him and we kissed it was like a bombshell in my stomach unlike anything i've experienced...so i talked to him everyday and txt him but only when i wasn't around my girlfriend she is very jelous and goes through my phone so i had to be very careful...we met up more and more when she would be at work well one day one thing led to another and we had sex.....it was amazing i felt like we were making love but weren't techinically in love unless you believe at love at first touch or glance....lol...but its been a couple weeks and we probably done it about 4 or 5 times well i came to realize thats not what i wanted i had a woman at home that has been so good to me for so long i continue to hurt her over and over again and i didn't want to do that anymore...new year new start for us all right....well now im about 6days late on my period i was thinking stress and all becuase im never late....but thursday if i don't start i am gonig to take a pregnancy test....i wouldn't mind having a child im just not ready yet im not stable in my life and i know my girlfriend will leave me and i don't want to be without her....i understand this is my stuped fault and i will take care of the conciquences just really scared don't know what to do with myself.....im stressing out everday i don't start my boobs are tender i feel bloated i pee no more than usual and i have no morning sickness so i don't know i think i might be stressing myself over it to much..not to mention new years eve night i got arrested for a DUI not to smart my first offensive in my life so thats another stress issuse im dealing with...maybe i just need reasurrance i don't know....but i asked my girlfriend awhile back what would she do if i got pregnant and she said she would leave me for sure...but i want a family with her but i can't have that without it costing a fortune not that it wouldn't be worth it but i want to be able to carry my own child not all the drugs to go along with it.....im just scared right now really don't know what could happen my whole life could change in a week or just remain the same and learn from it.....anyone have any advice for me any would help i know what i did was wrong and decetful no need to tell me that just really need a out siders perspective on the situation.....thank you
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female
reader, mdlasure +, writes (8 January 2009):
First off, at 22 years old you are still trying to "find" yourself. Yes, you cheated, but cut yourself some slack. To say that you will be with one person forever at age 22 is pretty difficult. If your relationship is truly what you want, then talk about your situation. Your partner may surprise you! Regardless, you still have options. There is always adoption. You can find a family that wants to adopt your baby in an "open situation" so you can always have a relationship with the child. My husband and I are hoping to adopt this way.
Of course, there is always abortion, but don't do something you will regret later. It is a personal choice, so make sure you REALLY consider all of your options before going this route.
Make sure you actually are pregnant first, then consider all of your options. Do what will be best for YOU, and stay strong. We are here for support! Good luck, Michele.
A
female
reader, michele21 +, writes (4 January 2009):
michele21 is verified as being by the original poster of the question what would be another way to go besides the invitro way??? she hasn't trusted me for at least a year and its put a major struggle on our realtionship expecially on my end becuase im the big screw up and she just stays around but questions my every move and step in life.....which she deserves to i guess but it sucks im always defending myself and your right he doesn't respect it anymore he is in love with me badly....yeah i love her and yeah i wouldn't have cheated if i did your right about that sometimes you feel a void and emptyness your not getting from your partner and you do stupid things that doesn't excuse it but it makes you feel better at the time
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 January 2009):
 You say you love your girlfriend, yet you cheated on her and not only that you did it over and over, it wasn't just a OMG what did I do thing.
My advice, first take that pregnancy test. It's going to stress out out even more then anything else.
Secondly, you need to be able to communicate better with your partner.
Thirdly, you need to figure out WHY you did what you did. What you feel you are missing in your relationship or why you feel like sabotaging it. Cause that is what you are doing. And yes, learn from it. Learn to be open and honest with your partner. If you don't have that in your relationship then what do you have? If she can not trust you what is it worth for her to stay? Other then heartache.
I don't quite understand why either of you can't have a child (when you are good and ready?) You think the invitro is the only way to go for the two of you?
As far as the guy you slept with.. No he didn't respect your relationship 100% or he wouldn't have slept with you. Judge by his actions not his pretty words.
I wish you good luck
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