A
female
age
51-59,
*mafudge
writes:I am a 49 yr old woman who reconnected with 2 men on Facebook. They are best friends. Have not seen both since High school. Both were interested back then I am still "attractive" and athletic. Sam is the guy of interest. John is his best friend. S and J live on the east coast and have a buisness together. I am on the west. Some emotional/sexual feelings developed between S and myself. So we decided to meet 4 a few days. But I had a feeling he was married and he said his ex and he lived in the same house - for her health reasons. He knows I would not break up a marraige. I have asked him several times and he has said no. We were supposed to meet but S had emergency surgery and is quite grave. I called to see how he was. His "wife" answered his phone. I just said I was a friend. Emailed J telling him what had happened and what was up. J is very honest. After pouring out my heart and saying I was going to cancel trip/leave "relationship" (4 lack of better word). J goes to hospital and dials phone 4 S who with out my asking says that his ex says she is his "wife" for insurance reasons. Ie insurance won't dicuss anything with her if she were not his wife. J is in room with him listening (J had mentioned once in an email that he "did not know S had told u he was not married..." - but that's all he has said in response to all my emails - other then it's all going to be okay). So...don't know what to believe anymore...bow out and cut all comunication with both? Just S? - he is very very sick. Since the surgery/complications no one contacts me unless I email/call them. S father knew who I was when I called to see how S was doing. Was very nice to me - likes me as a person. If S is not interested why would he call me from hospital after J told him what I was saying? Wouldn't they want to get rid of me? If S does cheat on his "wife" he should have other back ups. We have never met up physically. S and I would talk on phone 4 hours, he would leave messages on my phone almost every day. Any advice?
View related questions:
best friend, facebook, his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Myrrh  +, writes (10 January 2010):
 Hi. I can understand how you might be perplexed by the turn of events. But if i were you, i would take a back seat for a while. Try not to second guess things. I share a house with my ex but we certainly arent in a relationship. Having said that, i would help my ex if he were to become seriously ill. Its not really an appropriate time to question him or his friend, so be patient, hope for his speedy recovery and then im sure he will explain things to your satisfaction.
A
female
reader, imafudge +, writes (10 January 2010):
imafudge is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank u so much so far....all of this advice is bringing me alot of peace as i try to decide wether or not any decision I make is a good one....your advice is helping me focus....
...............................
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (10 January 2010):
 Yes, this all sounds very complicated. I just don't know about this business of being divorced but having his ex-wife live with him for insurance purposes. I'd be very, very suspicious of that story, in your place.
You tell us that J is very ill, and in hospital and neither he nor S gets in touch with you unless you initiate the contact.
My recommendation is to leave the whole thing alone. If one of them emails or calls you then you can ask the necessary questions and decide what to do. But until and unless - nothing doing, from your end.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2010): You need to forget the romantic involvement until all the drama can be sorted through. Something's not right in all this story telling, and you need to give yourself some distance to avoid getting hurt.
Let him heal, and then prove to you he's divorced. Filed divorce papers are a REALLY GOOD way to prove it...
Tell him you paid an investigator and he can't find any proof he's divorced and let him prove it.
...............................
|
